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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy new year!!

And winter is calling

The sky is awake
And winter is calling
It’s icy tendrils
Coursing through everything
The sky is awake
And winter is calling
The fields have been cropped
The buns are in the oven
And there’s a fire in the place
The sky is awake
And winter is calling
The trees are bare
The leaves have fallen
The sky is awake
And winter is calling

Chris McQueeney    12/25/14

I am getting later in the day when I have time to post here at my blog...Happy New Year to you all out there in blogger land. I took a nap today so I can stay up till the crack of midnight. New Years has always been one of my favorite times. I remember as a child thinking it was so cool that I would get to stay up as late as I wanted and at midnight light off a few fireworks then bang pots and pans. now as an adult I look forward to having a new year................

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

greener pastures

That ship

That ship has sailed
So they say
The grass is always greener
On the other side
If that is the case
You can never reach
The greener side because
The fence is just too damned high
That ship has sailed
So they say
But they don’t say where it has
Sailed to
Has it sailed to greener pastures?
If so it may just be a lawn boat
Can you imagine that
A lawn boat floating on greener grass
I can I guess you just need to have
A good imagination

Chris McQueeney

This was actually supposed to post yesterday, but I guess I didn't hit post...oh well I was trying and it can post today just as easily as yesterday. My check in goes as follows: 1) I hurt my back   2) went to the Dr's    3) not much they can do for it but pain meds and muscle relaxers. I have to see my primary Dr. to see if I need a MRI. Wish me luck!

Sunday, December 28, 2014

The Mag 251


Alabaster waves of light
Cascade through your aura
Bending this way and that
As if through a prism
Rainbows dance around your head
Moth like they flutter
So delicate a dance
Accentuating your beauty
What a tenuous thing
That nimbus surrounding you
But your beauty is strong
Enough to carry those
Alabaster waves of light
Through and over and in
Your essence of self

Chris McQueeney    12/28/14

This is being linked to the Mag 251


Clarion call

We take all sorts around here
Not one for the usual normally
We like um twisted sideways
The more sideways you are
The more credibility you have
So with this clarion call you need
But to answer before time runs out
We are generous to those that qualify
But hard on those less qualified
You’ll see we need and want you around
You will find your place among us
Finding it a pleasant experience or two
But not to discourage you before you
Take that step with no hope of return
For we are a lifetime fraternity and we deal
Deserters with a very heavy hand

Chris McQueeney    11/22/14

I dont feel much like writing today, Im tired, so is a trippy thing I still have to produce even when I am exausted. hope you like

Saturday, December 27, 2014

but the sea

A bit o elbow grease

Put your caps on
And look lively
This tub won’t sail
Er self
Look lively I said
And I meant it
Cappin’ll be watching
And I’ll be damned if
You misrepresent me
Or this ship
Put your backs to it boys
That’s it, bit o elbow grease
To smooth the way
That’s it boys
No ease till port
But who needs ease
We got the sea
With the wind to our backs
And the sun to our front
What more can a man want for
But the sea

Chris McQueeney    12/27/14

haiku for saturday

The tree sheds it's leaves
on an expectant ground so
Fine watch for falling

foliage in the air 
the carpet of leaves so fine
waiting for winter

I was invited to post a haiku so I thought I would give it a go. In traditional haiku the lines go five syllables then seven then five again and has something to do with nature. 

Friday, December 26, 2014

Wrong side


I woke this morning
On the wrong side of the bed
Shifted my rump
And bonked my head
Someone somewhere
Woke this morning
On the right side of the bed
They shifted their rump
And didn’t bonk their head
Must be nice to live on that side
Of the world
Where wishes had wings
And people can fly
I’m stuck here on the wrong side of the world
And get up on the wrong side of the bed
No wishes
No wings
No flying
We are stuck
On the wrong side of the bed

Chris McQueeney    12/26/14

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

This time last year

So well

Starlight traces the sky
And on the wall the reflection
Of lights as I lay down to slumber
The blanket so warm covering me
And the thought of a tree in the other room
Warming me even farther
Christmas is on its way
At time of year where it is expected
To be excited and have the wiggles
Because for those few days
I won’t be able to keep it in
Probably will have to spend some time in the car
By myself if it gets to be too much
I hate the silence of that little Toyota
And being by myself when they were all in there
And being by myself
When they were all in there having fun
But Christmas isn’t all about that
It is about caring and sharing
And being with those you love
Starlight traces the sky
And reflection on the wall
A comfort to a child that didn’t sleep
So well

Chris McQueeney    12/23/14

This time last year I was homeless. I had been sleeping where ever I could and one of those places was a bridge downtown. Today is Christmas, one year ago yesterday I got out of the mental hospital for the seventh or eighth time that year. I spent all last week in the hospital so I got some feelings of being stuck in a cycle. My life is in much better than it was this time last year and for that I am grateful... 

soft one

All I need

I saw you so many times today
        Your dress was blue and
                      Your hair was astray
I wish I could see you like that again
                             All I need from you
                    Is to tell me when
When I can see you again
What do you say
                Can I
See you
Really I have never
Seen something so lovely
As you
                 Can I
        See you again
Doesn’t have to be much
       Just a split in the
     And you just
       Walking by
And I only gaining a glimpse
            of you
        if even just out of the corner
  of my eyes
That would be enough
Till the next time
Can I
Oh Please
Can I see you

Chris McQueeney    12/24/14

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Test to see if my audience thinks my poetry is publishable

let me know if you think this work is publishable...comment at the bottom of the page

the rain god

The Sun God could visit
It would be a nice thing
We could sit on the patio  
Talk of this, that, and other things
Reliving days gone bye
Also days yet to be

Alas, the Cloud God is camping
Hanging with his cousin Rain King
The ground is wet
The sky is grey
Bringing back to me

If the sun god could visit
It would be a nice thing
Maybe then I wouldn't have to worry
About the f’ing Rain King

Goodbye to you my dear
You have been gone
For most of a year
Ghost pains
From a limb taken away
Remind me how I could say
For you
I would burn the motherfucker
It's true
But that would be
Just for the ghost
Of you and me
On Monday I'm on my way
To sign the papers
That say
The ghosts of me and you
Have gone, their separate,

Chris McQueeney    6/22/12    9:31 P.M
For you

I would strip my soul bare
And throw it at your feet to use
For you
Strip my soul
For you

I would break my crown
And tear my palace down brick by brick
For you
Brick by brick
For you

And burn the mother fucker down
For you….

Chris McQueeney    5/3/12

Better side

Screaming inside
Trying to find a frame Of mind
Trying to find a place
To hide from the demon inside
Grinning at the wheel
Driving the machine
Forcing the gears
To align opposed from
My better side
The screaming inside
Drowning the world out
Gears grinding the wheels turning
While my entire life is crashing
And burning

Chris McQueeney    7/28/12    2:16 P.M.

We like um

Clarion call

We take all sorts around here
Not one for the usual normally
We like um twisted sideways
The more sideways you are
The more credibility you have
So with this clarion call you need
But to answer before time runs out
We are generous to those that qualify
But hard on those less qualified
You’ll see we need and want you around
You will find your place among us
Finding it a pleasant experience or two
But not to discourage you before you
Take that step with no hope of return
For we are a lifetime fraternity and we deal
Deserters with a very heavy hand

Chris McQueeney    11/22/14

That time of year is upon us! We either love it or hate it but Christmas is almost here, welcome. I want to tell you about the good things that can come with that but I think I will wait for tomorrow for that.....Happy holidays to you!!!

Monday, December 22, 2014


I didn't know any better

Life has its pitfalls and it is not always

possible to  avoid them

can you imagine living in the times of Pompei

just going about your business

and Bam...the mount you have always loved

explodes on you burying your life under

a mound of super heated silica

that's what you are to me you are my Pompeii

you exploded and buried me in your venting

I had no warning nor defense

I have been mummified by your vitriol

Scalded and dried at the same time

Thousands of years from now

archaeologists will debate how this came to be

I was smiling when you hit me

I am still smiling now an articulated grin

that came from within when I saw you

I didn't know any better

Chris McQueeney    12/22/14

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Left the world to the sun

I took a trip today
no one said goodbye
but I went anyway

I left the world to the sun today
I took a trip
and I went away

The sun shone in the sky
he showed up
but didnt stay

I went on a trip today
I touched the sun
then was away

I saw a shadow of myself
flowing behind me
tried to leave it behind on my way

I left the world to the sun today
Took just one look
then was away

I went on a trip today
I touched the sun
then was away

Chris McQueeney    12/21/14

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Shine still

Shine on little star

we need you here

life is what you make of it

dont run this time

stay your self

for just a moment

plant your self

like a tree and root

lift your delicate arms

up to meet mine

join in this moment

your fingers twined

delicate though you may be

there is an inner strength

that is blinding to see

Breathe in and hold

breathe out and still

your racing heart

fluttering beats stand

you well in this moment

shine on little star

this roaring tide

will pass us by

stand still and hold

shine for we little star

join with me a moment

more in this place

hold just a moment more

Chris McQueeney    12/20/14

Friday, December 19, 2014

just a poem and a check in

For some time

Wishing I could be
a practitioner
of stockpiling health
holding on to it
for some later day
I could gather it
 for some time
when I will use it
to make you
dance in the glow
all beter again
then we could both
stockpiling health
not like misers
we could share the wealth
like givers of health
and be together
and we could be together

Chris McQueney    12/19/14

hings are stabelizing and I still can't spell worth a shit, but that's ok normally spell check takes care of it but I am on the hospital computer for now and it doesnt have Crome...that is it for now

Thursday, December 18, 2014

feel what

I dont want to be here
hat is the first thing anyone
here says
I dont want to be here
I want to be
somewhere warm and comforting
I want to be able to just walk
out when it gets
to be to much
and too much is not much
on the richter scale
much less than an earth quake
but it feels  so much more
more like a life quake
there is a life quake happning folks
get into position
this one's going to be a duzy
In my skin
I dont want to be here
in my skin
I would much rather change
skins for a day
and not feel what I feel
in my own skin

Chris McQueeney    12/18/14

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

quick check in

and for now

I am sitting here
With hip hop playing
In the background
in a hospital
it has all the usual smells
astringent and shit
Took a bit
to get
me to come again
the psych ward just
 wouldnt be the same
without BigE Smalls
beat hittin off
I think today
about why I came
this malady in my brain
the thing that keps um
 comming back for more
I been down
in the dumps above me
you can find the door to
this particular cellar
The front of a moving car
looks fine to me and
I wonder if I am over reacting
better yet my fear of being here
is wondering if I am
reacting rightly
I am here for now
and for now am here

Chris McQueeney    12/17

I am curently in a hospital for a stabilization. I have been very down lately and it has been building up on me...I will try to check iin every day but not sure that I can.....

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Not really


Fuck you
You broke down
Piece of shit
You don’t even have
Any Idea what kind
of mess you made
When you left us behind
Or do you?
Did you look in the mirror
And say to yourself
I’m a gonna fuck them
Or was it more of a
This won’t hurt them
So much
They’ll get used to that
Burning sensation
It only hurts the
First few times you get

Chris McQueeney    11-29-14

Good morning. Not much from me today. I guess I could talk about something but I am not going to so have a good one

Monday, December 15, 2014

One Day Reprise and story

One Day

One day the man
Woke up and realized
All the flat
Filled with all
The flat
Were just
Paper filled trays
With words
And numbers from
Pain filled days

Chris McQueeney    4/14/13    12:00 A.M.

I stumbled into the emergency room and I asked for help…From what I heard later I had a blood alcohol level of point seven four. You might ask how someone could get a blood alcohol content so high, well, you drink a lot that is how. I don’t remember much from that stay in the hospital. They put me in the psychiatric ward because I was mentally unbalanced. This was before I was diagnosed with toxic encephalopathy…I think they diagnosed me that time with psychotic disorder and depressive disorder. I spent nine days wandering around that psych ward not really knowing what was going on. What started that particular incident was losing my children. I got home from jail and my house was quiet and it shouldn't have been. I broke, my reason for living was gone, and I broke. I started drinking because I wanted to kill myself and I spent about a week in that state. See I don’t want to kill myself, there is just something broken in my head that makes me want to end my life. When I started drinking that day I stopped wanting to kill myself. I was sober when I got home…I was sober when I went to jail…I was sober when I decided to drink rather than kill myself. The problem with the situation was that I am an alcoholic on top of everything. That complicates things because of the nature of the disease. Alcohol is a wonderful medication for things like a broken heart, grief, and a broken mind, if you are not an alcoholic. Alcohol was bringing me to my knees while it was saving my life. I was able to get it across to the doctors that I was talking to that there was something wrong underneath the alcohol consumption. I got it across to them that I was broken and the drinking was a temporary bandage for the wound, at one point while I was detoxing I was sitting in a little room with a doctor as little monsters ran around his feet, I was hearing things and seeing things that were not there. At first I thought that was because of the alcohol. I know now that it is because of the encephalopathy. It took another few trips to the psych ward for that diagnosis to come about. Like I said I had started drinking a solid week before this episode and I had bought a fifth of gin that night and drank it on the bus ride out to the hospital. I ended up passing out in the bus stop across the street from the hospital emergency room for a few hours. When I came to I finished the fifth and stumbled across the street. When the staff saw what condition I was in they put me in a bed in the hallway…I sat there for hours while they tried to figure out what to do with me. At one point I asked for a sandwich and they looked at me so funny. I am at a crossroad in my life where the medication they are giving me is barely working, I am having a real hard time with it too. The one thing that I have going for me is that I don’t have to drink to keep from killing myself any more, aside from that at times I still feel like that man who was wandering that hospital psych ward……..

Chris McQueeney    12/15/14    2:09 P.M.

Dear KJ

Isn’t she lovely

And with her passing
did with her 
joy she will bring
to the breaking heart
for how could you not break
in the presence 
of one such as she
it is in those breaks
where the joy escapes
and is found all over
isn't she lovely 

Wander    12/13/14

This poem was written in response to a friend of mine whose mother is dying...I hope and prey that she goes easy and finds some peace

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Smack dab

photograph by Robert Doisneau

To hell with it all

Kisses were wishes
That day baby
And I got a million
You stood there
Just so and I just
Had to lay lips to you
To hell with wondering
If you want me
Or not
To hell with it all
Your lips so soft
I just had to
Kiss you like that
In that place
At that particular moment
Kisses were wishes
That day baby
And my wish got laid
Smack dab on you

Chris McQueeney  12/14/14    12:11 P.M.

The prompt was brought to you be Tess over at the Mag, where each Sunday she brings an image to us to wax poetic about…Check out what the other poets have come up with.

Empty faces

Empty faces

A bitter heart
is an empty place 
full of empty people 
empty faces
how then should I go 
from this trace of you
I find and see
in everything
or is it an echo 
of a trace of you
either way 
those bitter empty faces
mind their manor
more often than not 
Not trespassing too often
or for too long

Wander  12/13/14

My poetry is often just generated by emotion, or the idea of emotion. They are mostly fiction. Often I get inspiration by reading other peoples poetry or pros. This poem was written in response to a poem, or rather by the emotion that poem brought to me. I have gotten the most inspiration from a few poets and this particular poem was brought about by Christopher at View from thenorthern wall. Christopher is a longtime friend in the real world and is also the reason I built my blog in the first place. He is a very talented poet and writer.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Ivory tower

High horse

You sit there
On your high horse
With your lofty ideals
All that you survey
It is nice for you to
Grace us with your presence
I bet the Ivory tower that
You came from
Is a lonely place without you
Withering your gaze may be
But power it lacks
I’ve seen your type before
All it takes is a pin
Prick to shred your facade
And land all your little pieces
Around your mounts feet
How pretty they still look
A bit more genuine
Sharp enough to cut still
Each little piece a still shot
Of those ideals you held so high
If you can pick up the pieces
Put them back together
In some semblance   
You’ll be stronger for all the scars

Chris McQueeney    12/13/14

12/13/14 strange

Cardboard hotel

I awoke this morning ‘
Only to find
I was the only thing
Left behind
Can you imagine that
Leaving me to molder
In this two chicken hovel’
I am worth more than that
Of that I know for sure.
But others have a differing opinion
They would see me in a cardboard hotel
Begging for change just to feed myself
You wonder why homeless do drugs or drink
Well you would too if you were in their situation
Did you know how painful it is to be homeless?
And did you know how hard it is to get out of that situation
And if you are blessed to get out there are a whole set of new problems
You go from a life of destitute to a life of requirement
Do this do that be where we tell you
You spent a life surviving all odds
And they want to treat you as a child
But you need it
There is nothing wrong with being a child
But that is why so few make it
It is hard being homeless take it from one who has been there
It is even harder being homefull

Chris McQueeney    12/2014

Got no internet cept for my phone, and my kids want to play with kid is sick, the other not...makes for a long day

Friday, December 12, 2014

the glue that binds

Try and try and try

What do you do
When things don’t go your way
There is nothing left to do
Nothing left to say
What do you do
When the glue
That binds things together
Fails you
And everything comes unraveled
What do you do
Do you give up
Throw your hands in the air and
Stomp your feet
Or do you try
And try and try
To make things different
No matter that you are broken
The parts must fit together again
Where is the duct tape
It held the bomb together
It can fit your pieces together again
Even if they will be misshapen
Try as you might
You are broken
Things won’t fit tight
Never again
But you gotta try
Gotta try

Chris McQueeney 12 12 14

Thursday, December 11, 2014


The rarity of life

I always imagined living the life of
A soldier son
In the wake of battle
I would return home
To the accolade of my family
Never one to rest on my laurels
I would run an inn or something of the sort
Over pints of beer the fellows and I would extol
The virtues of life when we were coming up
How things were harder but better
And how the world would fall apart
If only they didn’t change the tune on the radio
Life would be grand
wouldn't talk much about war
Only on the rare occasion
When fully in my cups
Catch me at the right moment
I wouldn’t speak of the glory of war
Only the grimness
And the rarity of life
And the beauty

Chris McQueeney    12/11/14