You are, I am.

You are sideways, I’m upside down

No, wait

Sideways is what I am

Upside down is for you

Either way the view is off kilter

You get to dance on the ceiling

I get to hop over doorways

Stumbling on the trim I fall

Through the window into the outside

The sun is out

Maybe you could join me

Instead of just watch

Good day sir

Hello blog world!

No deep thoughts from me today. I have been told that I have been too grim lately. Ok, this just may be true, no, it is true. The sun is out, my children are healthy, and I have been blessed with two years of sobriety. So for today I will be light, frivolous, and joyful.

Again I say hello, hi, how are you, and as Bilbo once said (just with a different tone) good day sir.

Inspire me, post fun things, poems, stories, and videos.

Also to my viewers in Germany, talk to me; tell me how you found me. I spent nine days in your country and loved it. I want to hear from you……..

Sadness becomes me 6/21/11

Through my forest

Cold wind blowing

Tempting the few stragglers

Holding on as if

Life will flow

If only

If only it could

If only I could stretch

My winter bare arms in the sun

Dig my roots into the loamy soil

For now this cannot be

The sun is hiding

The ground is hard

Waiting for spring

Spring is not now

So for now

Sadness becomes me



This is has been a tough day, week, and year, but this is not a wholy down poem. There is hope yet, hope for spring, for life returning, and new blumes sprouting.Wandering down this path is a journey; around the next corner, on the other side of that hill lies hope. Or at least the hope that hope lies somewhere near.

One night I was having trouble sleeping, and I did not have a book to read, so I flicked on the boob tube. On the Sundance channel, for some reason, a documentary caught my attention. It was about Norwegian black metal and some of the history and infamy behind the movement.  I have included a link to the movie web site; on the link you can watch the whole movie and extras, please watch. One of the people involved, Varg Vikernes, committed murder, at least that was what he was convicted of; either he is the best sociopath I have ever seen, or he is telling it how it happened.

                Here is some content from the movie’s Facebook page,

"UNTIL THE LIGHT TAKES US is a stunning, voyeuristic window into the morbid world of Norwegian black metal, the most malevolent musical genre in existence, whose surprisingly articulate founders hold complex sets of extreme nationalist, anti-Semitic and anti-Christian beliefs. Unlike musical purveyors of evil who do so only for the sake of showmanship, these young friends actually practice what they preach, engaging in rampant church burning, suicide, and – as notoriously chronicled in the European media – murder.

Co-directors Aaron Aites and Audrey Ewell spent two years living in Oslo, where they procured the trust of ringleader Varg Vikernes (a/k/a “Count Grishnack”), architect of the criminal movement. Along with other influential members of the “Black Circle,” Vikernes gave the filmmakers unprecedented, intimate access to their shadowy world. UNTIL THE LIGHT TAKES US chronicles the true story behind the music and mayhem, and reveals what happened when these complicated young artists could no longer control the dangerous scene they had created. Featuring interviews with outspoken black metal fan Harmony Korine, musicians Gylve Fenriz Nagell, Varg Vikernes, Hellhammer, Faust, Abbath and Demonaz, Garm, Faust, Frost and more, and the music of Black Dice, Boards of Canada, Burzum, Darkthrone, Enslaved, Gorgoroth, Lesser, Mayhem, Múm, Sunn 0))), Thorns, and Ulver. (USA, 2009, English, 93 minutes)”

Untill the light takes us

With love, your sun.

A bargain struck, 6/17/11

I said I love you

He said good bye

Walked out the door

Until that day he had been

On borrowed time

A deal had been made

A bargain struck

The one in need had been saved

Under the oak

He went home

My father had been many things in his life: a thug, husband three times over, a father four times over, brother, son, grandfather, drunk, sponsor, friend, and human. Dad drew the short straw in life in life, but through some kind of miracle he was able to stretch it out for sixteen additional years. My father was many things, wore many hats, but to me he was larger than life.

                The day dad died is imprinted in my memory, burned into stone. Even though he passed at forty seven he lived ten lifetimes.  With Father’s day on Sunday, I wanted to write a little about him, and to him.

Dear dad,

Over and over you asked me to write you a letter, even if it was just to say fuck you. I wanted too, over and over, not to say fuck you, to say I love you. I couldn’t, not because I didn’t try, I just couldn’t, life didn’t give me that ability. I was ashamed to tell you, I didn’t want to disappoint, to let you down. You are my hero. Happy birthday, happy father’s day, happy Fourth of July, thank you for the birthday presents, merry Christmas, and happy New Year. I know this can’t hope to make up for all the years without, but this is what I can do. I hope your journey home was pleasant, and you can get some rest.

With love from your son.