Whistle while you work

It's harvesting time

The day started off rough

And got worse from there

I woke in the field

Only to find

An old wooden cart

And a swayed back nag

Was all she left behind

With a hammer ringing

Inside my head

I woke to the feeling

Of Sand in my eyes

The drinks she poured

Felt good at the time

But now I feel ill

My mouth is sure dry

The day started off worse

And only got bad from there

The tractor is gone

With the bailer behind

The bank account’s empty

Purse missing, jewelry inside

The farm hand Luke

Well, of him…no sign

All I have left

Is a cart full of hay

A glue bound horse

With a definite sway

It’s harvesting time

And all I can say

She left me a mess

And then ran away

Chris McQueeney    7/8/12    10:59 P.M.

Thank you tess for the prompt. go by the mag to see what others have done with the prompt  Chilmark Hay, 1951 by Thomas Hart Benton

The Dr. is in

You’ll see

It’s speaking to me

The craziness

Is creeping up

Let’s see

Dr Jekyll had good

Plans

And a pair, or two

Good hands

Well maybe only one

Powered by two

Is that my hand I am thinking with

Or is that you

Its speaking to me

The craziness

Is creeping up

You’ll see

One drink is all

I’ll need to Hyde

and bring forth

The evil that is creeping

From deep inside

One drink is all

You’ll see

One drink is all you’ll see

Chris McQueeney    7/6/12    11:15 P.M.

This has been linked to d'Verse poets pub...drink up

Tuesday guest spot #2 B Ditty

     For my second installment of Tuesday guest spot I thought I might bring some humor on board. This blog thing has a trippy way of coming about and I found our next guest by his off the wall comment on Wine and words and the rest is history…I am laughing right now because I never thought I would say that, even in jest. Many authors and bloggers inspire me but Ben, or B Ditty, has gotten my creative wheels spinning about a dozen times and some of them have even made it up on my blog. This man has an amazing spin on the world and every time I read his fiction I am reminded why I started following his blog.

      I thought I would try something different and I figured Ben would play along…I asked Ben to write his own questions and answer them; he did but I added the last one because I was curious. Aside for his obsession with gnomes, and his brilliant mind, Ben has a gynormus beard ;-)

What author(s) inspired you most?

I always loved the worlds created by J.R.R. Tolkien, J.K. Rowling and L. Frank Baum. I’m a bit of a fantasy nerd in that. I’ve read some sci-fi but it never moved me as much. And it bothers me the two are so often lumped together. The allure of of something so different, that can’t be reality in any logical sense but solely within our imaginations, I find extremely satisfying.

What were the earliest writings of yours that you remember?

My first brush with creative writing began in elementary school. We had these comparative assignments, where we’d write about the differences, similarities and comparisons. I took the assignment differently than my classmates. I wrote scary and violent things that frightened my teacher and resulted in poor grades. In the end, though, I caved and tried to be “agreeable” for grades sake. Or at least I tell myself I was sarcastically happy, writing about cute kitties and puppies lapping water with their tongues.

The craziest thing you ever wrote; hands down?

I maintain the craziest thing I’ve written was a story on evil Gingerbread people. It involved a man lost in the woods who stumbled upon a community inhabited by cookies. He ends up breaking into one of their houses and gets put on trial. The punishment is for him to eat gingerbread people condemned to death. It turns out they were his friends. Also, he gets put in the oven and turns gingerbread afterwards. For good measure, he’s then led out to be eaten.

What other hobbies do you have besides being an awesome, writer dude?

There’s a few other hobbies I’ve picked up. I play ocarina on occasion. I discuss politics and history. I have a Bachelors in History, actually. Also, I enjoy volunteering to tutor local kids at the Middle School.

What pen names have you considered, if any?

Well, interesting story. People in high-school called me B. Diddy. That became B. Ditty, since my last name is Ditmars. And sometimes, I go by Bee Ditty. So, much like languages my pen name has evolved over time.

If you could live in a book, which would it be?

That’s a tough decision. It might be the Iliad. It might be the Odyssey. I enjoy a good fight and seafaring adventure.

I also wonder if you would answer what it was like being a bastion of creativity in the heartland...

Oh, I wouldn't call myself a bastion. There are a lot of people more talented than I. Columbus has a particularly great poetry scene. I was lucky enough to read there in May at Kafe Kerouac. The only downside the Heartland really has is its lack of a well renowned publishing house. I think you'd read a lot more creativity from Ohio and surrounding areas if we had the capacity of New York, Chicago or LA.

Thanks for this opportunity, Chris. I had a lot of fun and am honored you had me in mind!

Crazy Gingerbread Story:

gingerly

Ben’s Blog:

http://niceoldspice.blogspot.com/

A Novel on Gnomes:link

Book of Poetry:link

Book of Short Plays:link

 

Old Spice is Nice: Gingerly

niceoldspice.blogspot.com

Rasher of bacon

June 28th 2012          Caledonia Harold Times      morning press

13 dead found over 3 day period

By Devon Gunderson

An alarming number of mutilated bodies have started showing up on the south side of town. The police are baffled, and citizens hide in their homes! Starting Thursday with the discovery of Braden Sanderson’s corps the rash of dead has piled up at a sickening rate. At last count 13 are dead. The mayor has issued an 8 o’clock curfew to begin today. “We need to remain calm. The perpetrators will be found, and justice will be done! But you must let the police deal with this. Anyone caught out after the curfew will be arrested; also anyone forming vigilante gangs to find the killers will be subject to sever criminal charges.” Mayor Thomas also stationed check points on all roads into town. Below is a graphic image for adult eyes only, the thirteenth  victim Samantha Tidwell. Samantha was found in the garden pond behind her home.

…………………………….

I’d seen this before…the dead. It all starts with one, one poor soul unlucky enough to find a full can of soda. Who wouldn’t keep and open a full can? They know this, and count on the greed free pop creates in those who have too much as it is.

Thursday evening after the police left I searched his back yard, and the shed. The poor bastard, from what I heard they started with his eyes. Yup, if I’m correct (usually am) it was a whole can of sprite Braden found. Well, that was what he thought he found. What was actually in that can (I am pretty sure) was a plague of sprites. Sprites like to start with the eyes, and for some reason they also like the web of skin between the toes.

All the signs were there. The scat was thick. Fresh out of the can sprites have been cooped up in so small a space they cannot relieve themselves. Disgusting as it may seem it makes sense to start crapping as soon as the lid pops open. And they are hungry, very hungry. They fight each other to get to the meat. Yeah, that is what they call humans, the meat.

After finding what I was to be up against I put together my package. Those winged vermin although vicious are predictable. First I put the Ax bomb in the bag…something about Ax body spray gets those little fuckers salivating. Next is a rasher of freshly cooked bacon, not for them, are you kidding me that’s for me. Taking out sprites always gets me a serious hunger going on. We got some weapons in here as well, yes we surely do. Got me a bat with barbed wire wrapped around the end, one can of lighter fluid, and the best for last…gloves with sticky palms, I’ll use those for sure.

Now, nine hours later, the sun has set, and the axbomb primed and blown. Those little fuckers are all around me. I figured the back nine of the Whetstone Golf Club would be a good place to get it on. And it is…

Out the corner of my eye (unlike others I wear eye protection) I spot four or five sprites winging at me in formation. I clutch up on the shaft and let um have it! The whistle of the air as it is forced through the barbed wire, the spat of full contact, and the squealing scream of a partial hit are all symphonic to me. Four of the five are dead. The fifth lies on top of my boot. As it comes to it realizes where it is and attempts to chew its way through the leather to get at the webbing between my toes. Soooo not going to happen, I think as I smash the little bugger with my other boot (I wear steel toed boots, I’m not stupid like thirteen others I could name)

Dropping the bat I pull out my gloves and turn a three sixty to locate the next likely bunch. I put special glue on the palms, kinda like the sticky patch on post it notes. There, just to my left. They think they are being sneaky but I got em, three squirming sprites in my hand. Now I can catch the rest of the sprites attention. They gather around me as I shake my prisoners and scream. Just to add insult to injury I start biting body parts off of the captured sprites. They have a salty sweet taste a bit like kettle corn and emu mixed together.

The surviving sprites freak out and try to swarm me. That is when the secret weapon comes out. Having dealt with sprites before, I know their weaknesses. One of the sprites weakness being the attraction to ax body spray; the other and more important weakness is their inability to handle loud ignorant noises. For tonight’s performance I chose a fine piece by the master of ignorant Billy Ray Cyrus…

“BUT DON’T TELL MY HEART, MY ACHY BREAKY HEART I JUST DON’T THINK IT’D UNDERSTAND” came blaring out of the carefully hidden boom box. Screaming as a one the whole plague of sprites fell to the ground around me.  Here is where the bacon comes in to play. After dousing sprites in lighter fluid and lighting them on fire I am always hungry.

Munching on bacon I wonder if this run of good luck will continue…what are the odds that every new place I move to will have issues like this?

One can only hope!

Chris McQueeney    7/1/12    12:07 P.M.

This is a work of fiction

Any resemblance to actual people

Is a freaky coincidence and shouldn’t bother you at all

Actually you should feel honored

            I mean really, how cool would that be!                                 

This piece was penned in response to an offering written By the ever fruitful Ben Ditty over at     Nice Old Spice  Sprite  is the title of his piece.
Also linked to the Mag, Mag 124

Tuesday Guest Spot #1 She writes

After being interviewed by Nadja I was told by Christopher that it would be good practice to do the same for others…and I liked that Idea. Those of you I would like to interview will be hearing from me…I have been so fricking busy that I spaced to send out the requests. I’m thinking about having a weekly post called Tuesday Guest Spot (Sorry Brian that is my only fairly open spot…ONL will have to get day old bread from me ;-)

Please bear with me, this is my first time doing this and I hope to improve.

Wander

My first guest is Amy from SheWrites:

What was the first book you remember reading, and why do you remember that particular one?

The first book I recall reading was Raggedy Ann Stories, by Johnny Gruelle. There was a whole series I collected in my childhood of these books. The stories were about Raggedy Ann sneaking out of the playroom of the little girl who owned her. She would sneak out at night and visit these magical woods filled with fairies and witches and silly creatures—all components that fueled my little girl imagination to want to run away and discover something magical outside my own window.  Raggedy Ann was both smart and sweet.

I read profusely as a child and couldn’t begin to recall all the books that moved me, but Raggedy Ann remains on my shelves to this day.

Why writing?

There is a freedom in writing that is probably similar to what one experiences with too much alcohol J. It is easy to say almost anything, invent words and stories where inhibition need not be practiced. Of course, there is the inevitable rewrite after rewrite where words get removed, tamed, and added, but still, freedom is a huge draw in writing. Often what I can never express in life, or don’t even think can find its way onto a page and be perfectly acceptable. It’s fun.

If you had your way, what writer would you have a shoot the shit session with, past or present?

Hmmm, this is a really tough one. I am not sure, but Frank McCourt of Angela’s Ashes comes to mind. Maybe because he was a teacher which means he liked imparting knowledge, or maybe because he was incredibly vulnerable in that memoir and I am always moved by vulnerable people. I want to know how writers come up with their ideas and so anyone currently published would be a welcomed shoot the shit session.

Tell us about the first time you had an idea while writing a piece that made you react out loud...

I wrote about a dog I once loved in a memoir piece that left me in tears. http://shewritesherenow.blogspot.com/2010/01/trees.html

If you could take the place of a fictional iconic villain, who would it be, why, and what would you do differently?

I would never take the place of a villain, I hate meanness. But if I could steal someone’s villain to write as my very own, I’d have to take Annie from Stephen King’s Misery.

Cathy Bates as Annie

Tell us one of your pet peeves

This is easy; I detest writing advice generously doused out by people who cannot write! Drives me crazy

Were you a natural writer, or have you crafted yourself into a writer?

Hah! Though I have been told my work is very publishable, because I have not yet been published (nor submitted work for publishing), I am reluctant to call myself a “natural writer.” Writing comes naturally some days and not so much at others. I work very hard at rewriting everything I write. My style has changed over time. I hope I am honing my craft or crafting myself into a writer. But a publisher will be the final one to answer that question!

Without necessarily saying where you live tell us what attracted you to that place…

I am not drawn to where I live. I am living in a way that is practical for my current lifestyle. Sun draws me. Creative, open people draw me. Accessibility to organic food and great little restaurants draw me. The 1940s bones of my little place draws me.

Thanks, Wander! It’s always an honor to be interviewed. I appreciate the invitation very much.

Amy

http://shewritesherenow.blogspot.com/