Thursday, July 12, 2012

The other side of the coin



After speaking with the sorely used (or so he thought) farmer I thought I would talk to the other side of the coin...here is what she had to say....


Lecherous Grin


This is it
Never again
There he stands
Across the field
With his bottle
And that lecherous
Grin, again

He thinks
To have me tonight
He thinks he sets me
Alight inside, no fright
The light inside has
Dimmed
Never will he
  Win
     Into
        Me,
        Again

Night approaches 
He and I for the last
Time this spin
Of the wheel of will
He or I win this last time
This bottle of gin
In my hand tilts the scales
  One
    More
       Drink
My dear
I think with that
Last drink you’ll be
Done in, lecherous grin
Slackened, one swing
Eye blackened
Tractor,
       Truck,
          Bank account
Gone
Purse and jewelry
    Farm hand
Luke and I gone
  Like
     The
       Wind
That serves you right
You abusive drunk!
For trying to lay
Your repulsive self
Into me
Never again, that was it
The end!


Chris McQueeney    7/11/12    9:53  P.M.  



12 comments:

  1. ha fun way to tell the story man...he has to take better care of mama...especially with all those farm hands around...smiles...

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  2. Ahhhh, there is always the other side of the story, isn't there :)?

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  3. Smart mama to take the tractor and the truck! Even farm hands hafta make a livin'... :)

    Really well done, Chris. Layers of nuance frosted with crisp rhythm and meter...

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  4. holy moley chris, i kind of read this aloud and i hardly took a breath. honestly i think this is super good writing. you someone catch the rhythm and it's kind of breathless and you have this play on words and this repetition.

    for some reason this line gets me:

    He thinks he sets me
    Alight inside

    the word Alight: is it even a word? if it is or isn't, it's a great word.

    nice nice
    love
    kj

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    Replies
    1. Yeah kj it is a word...and a bit of a play on words at the same time...thank you:-)

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  5. Hmmm. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,' comes to mind in this verse. Ha!

    And the association she connects between his behavior and it's negative impact on his use of her body - it's spot on. Very insightful.

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  6. Wow - that's a smart and strong voice your character has. I like it!

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  7. I first went back and read the farmer's poem, then this one. I think she may have a point.

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  8. what a perfect rebuttal!

    not only are your words visually impressive, i like the way they move in written form. nice. very.

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  9. Well, I say, he may have had it coming. But that was tough revenge!

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