Sunday, January 15, 2012

Living under water

 sculpture: Jason deCaires Taylor

They say that life is a journey
You have to experience to understand
I can see that being the case

They say the joy in life
Is in the living of it
That sounds ok to me

They say your life’s path
Can have meaning to others
I sure hope so

What they didn’t tell me
Is that no one above the surface
Can hear you scream


Chris McQueeney  1/15/2012 11:39PM

This is in response to the 100th prompt from Tess at magpie tales click here
at

21 comments:

  1. Susie Clevenger1/16/12, 12:16 AM

    Wow...the ending a sudden surprise.

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  2. jennifer1/16/12, 12:50 AM

    I like this, very poignant. Well written.

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  3. christopher1/16/12, 2:25 AM

    Good one.... You are beginning to hit your stride. You have given me this small stone that will be published tomorrow -

    Under Water

    I'm gravid, drowning
    in the bitter of old dreams,
    pining for a bit
    of the noonday sun.

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    Replies
    1. Brian Miller1/16/12, 2:32 AM

      ooo very nice...love that unexpected there in the end....it is chilling...

      Delete
    2. Wander1/16/12, 1:32 PM

      @Christopher, thank you...and what the hell were you doing up at 2:30 in the morning?

      @Brian, my ending kinda polar oppisite to your's...

      Delete
  4. Laurie Kolp1/16/12, 5:56 AM

    Enjoyed this... the ending is amazing.

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  5. Suz1/16/12, 6:24 AM

    oh golly...terrific

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  6. Anonymous1/16/12, 6:32 AM

    That last stanza was great. Nice construction!
    Thanks for viewing my blog earlier.

    Jamie

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  7. Trellissimo1/16/12, 7:07 AM

    Ain't that the truth! ♥

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  8. Tess Kincaid1/16/12, 8:16 AM

    I like the unexpected ending...

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    Replies
    1. Wander1/16/12, 1:36 PM

      Thank you for the prompt, I have realy enjoyed joining in the tales.

      Delete
  9. Susan Anderson1/16/12, 1:11 PM

    Kinda buries the platitudes, doesn't it?

    Nice Magpie!

    =)

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  10. Unknown1/16/12, 7:18 PM

    I read your poem a few times because I enjoyed the way it was constructed. I like the message and the thinking. Thank you for sharing this and for visiting my blog.

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  11. Jasmine1/16/12, 10:49 PM

    ....I'm sure your whispers sound and feel of thunder up against a loving ear

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    Replies
    1. Wander1/16/12, 10:52 PM

      Please tell me more about this loving ear...

      Delete
  12. Ben Ditty1/17/12, 1:48 PM

    Sometimes I feel that way, muted and under the surface.

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  13. Other Mary4/10/15, 4:19 AM

    That last line is chilling! We really different directions. I did that Magpie too, again, different: http://writinginthebachs.blogspot.com/2012/01/siren-song.html

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