So very deep
Who are you to say
What has or hasn’t
Gone away
What ego must wrest
On that hole
So very deep
In your soul
So awfully black
I want to know
Who are you to say
What has
Or hasn’t gone away
Chris McQueeney 7/11/12 9:31 P.M.
********************
blah blah and a la la
With a blah blah and a la la he walked his happy ass down the street ...while walking he looked down and saw a nickel...now, a nickel isn't much, but it all adds up. So he picked up the nickel, it was shiny, and new. With that nickel in his hand he noticed a whole row of nickels leading to a bush...he thought cool, maybe enough to get a pop. So the man proceeded to pick the coins up.
When the man got to the bush he stopped. Stooping over, he was startled to see that just to the side of the coin was a note. He picked it up and read it..."this is your lucky day, look up." So, he did. Just then someone swung a bat over the top of the bush and hit the coin toting man over the head.
Dragging the man back to the pile of bodies the
woman thought to herself ...they all add up...
...................
Chris McQueeney 7/15/12 10:46 P.M.
The picture at the top artwork by Jack Vettriano has been provided by Tess over at The Mag who every week gives us an image to work with...feel free to go over there to see what others have created.
8 comments:
*snort*
haha i really like the second one man...lol...lucky day indeed...smiles...
okay, the first one, dark loveliness.
your perspective of the painting is real. btw...i adore his paintings.
and the second one!
made me giggle. very clever sir!
The first one was really good. I like how you played with the idea and repeated it. The second! Oh my gosh, I did NOT see it coming :)! I thought at first you were writing an experience of finding money and karma. But Nooooooo :). LOVED it.
Ha! So she is saying that men are a dime a dozen? (based on a very rough calculation...) Too funny...
You made a good point in this poem... who can say what's gone away... and in some ways that's what I was writing.
and... you make a me laugh... :)
You had me all introspective within the poem, and then came the short story and I may as well have been the ball, for there came the bat. You've got some interesting notions Mister!
Oh man do I like the rhymes of that poem!
And it's a good question :-)
Now for the story: a row of shiny nickels-- who wouldn't? Then the punch line and a double triple meaning 'it all adds up'. Duh! Does it did it? What I like most is that there's no greed with nickels. But bodies ... Chill! You should meet Stephen king some day, Chris. Put that on your vision board!!!
Love love
kj
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