S.A.I.F.

I walked from the small patients room with fury.
I made it to the stairway before I couldn't go any further
I started balling...it took everything I had not to scream, to not rage. I invested every emotional cent I had left on that appt...
Two days later I said"something went wrong..."
" I know, we barely touched it." He said.
 "I'm alive" I said as we both looked at the mostly full half gallon of gin.
Two days before the Dr that I had invested so much emotional coin on informed me that he was contractually bound by S.A.I.F. (the insurer) not to tell me what his findings were and not to give me any advice. "My hands are tied." Said the Dr.

I was injured on the job, through no fault of my own...and my life has been destroyed. I love my family and friends, love life and writing, but the only thing that has kept me going are my children...and when I left that fucking dr's office even that wasn't enough.

Souls Blood

Whole again

The way I was before

They took the pin Out of the wheel

And the spokes fell off

Broken and torn tattered and beaten

On the ground you'll find me bleeding

My soul’s blood out

Needing the world to be

A gentle place If but for a day

Knowing that one more Pain will take away

My need to keep breathing for real

On this hill I climb

It is the one on which you’ll find me

Making a final stand this once I choose

I will upright fight from

The top...

This is the hill worth

Dying on

Chris McQueeney




 I wrote that piece in Aug of last year...June almost a year later and my physical life is the same

At a loss

Are we disgruntled today

are we gasping

and wheezing at a loss

for breath

cursing and ruing the day

the gas took our

life away

but did not cause

our death

Chris McQueeney     9/9/12    10:03P.M.

please look into the workman's compensation laws in your state and see if they are even beneficial to the worker...Oregon's are not. Today I am angry, and I am intent on going after them...but anger only lasts so long.