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Tuesday, September 30, 2014


Nowhere to be found

The magic is missing
From the world today
I went to look for it
This morning and it was
Nowhere to be found
The magic went missing
From the world today
There is a gaping hole
Where it used to be
And I don’t know
Where to look
Or how to say
The magic is missing
And I can’t find my way

Chris McQueeney  9/29/14

Thank you for reading my work...I have never written that down before but I thought I would let you know it is appreciated ......................

Monday, September 29, 2014

Day fourteen

How will I know

It's a tough deal
this life thing
at times I try
and spin all
over again at the
beginning of things
just to find
myself stymied
If wishes could bring
all when I am in need
I wouldn't feel trapped
in this vicious loop
am I wining through
at any point in time
or am I just running
through winter bare fields
searching for a path
I just don't know
what's right
how will I know
How the hell
will I know

Chris McQueeney     9/24/14

Got the new computer and all of a sudden my writing volume jumps by like five hundred percent. I can now work and save pieces in a secure place...what a feeling it is to have that luxury. I don't have the ability to hand write so having a paper journal is out of the picture. I think that would be a nice way to be able to do things...just pull the paper out and start writing on it. I've tried but it hurts too much for me to get very far. So I am relegated to writing through an electronic medium. When I first realized that I could write with a keyboard I was excited because for the first time in my life I was going to be able to express myself with writing. I was also excited because I had always wanted to be an author and now I could.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

It got lost in the shuffle

Think you that
We knew ahead
Of time
What our decisions
Would bring
Like we had a map of the stars
And a oracle to advise
Us against our transactions
Put a quarter in the slot
Out pops a divination
Oh no, don’t go that path
And another
Know along that path Lies disaster
I put the requisition in
But it 
Along with many others
got lost in the shuffle

Chris  McQueeney
Wow! I got a new computer, and it isn't a mac this is so much easier to write on a computer. I have for the most part been using the wordprocessor on my phone  to put together my work. I have to say being able to use MSWord is soooo much a better way, and having a keyboard is nice as far as the poetry I kinda like the piece I put together on my new computer...Thank you Gram this thing is cool

Saturday, September 27, 2014

what the hell

Moves on

Well aren't you
The disgruntled one
A martyr
in the cause
of you
Lying in your humble Abode
Drifting in and out of
While the world
moves on
Without you
you slumber in shades
of red
dreaming a life
Full of dread
A martyr
in the cause of you

Chris  mcQueeney    9/23/14

I just got a new computer. Now comes the joys of figguring out how the darned thing works. Also got ms word which I am verry happy isnt a whole lot of help with poetry but with my long and short stories it is a big assett . Also in even better news I am spending the day with my children. We went to the dollar store that has an entire isle for toys. The keds got to pick two things out...I think they made good picks, well, atleast they are happy with them...i love those two soo much............

Friday, September 26, 2014

Day eleven


My two little people
To you I give my heart
Each day I do live more
With joy and pain
Your lives to me remain
Forever priceless

Chris McQueeney 9/24/14

Good morning on this thirty day first I approched this journey like a would a strech at the local jail...but, as time goes by it gets just a bit less intalerable , kinda a reliefe.....well thats just me today.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Day ten

I'm warning you

There's a monster Under my bed
I tell you true
It's not just In my head
It fills the space
Underneath me
At night while I should be sleeping
It has teeth Enough to bite Me
I tell you true
It's there
I can feel it's breath
In the air
fear runs my veins
I tell you noI'M not insane
there's a monster Under my bed...
not in my closet
no not there
below my pillow mattress and frame
I swear it's true
there's a monster
not in my head
it's there every night under my bed
don't look
I'm warning you

Chris McQueeney    9/24/14

Good morning...I am off to court today to finish up one part of an obglation started almost a year ago...wish me luck...........

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

tic toc lifer

tic toc lifer

Box rider
Brother beside her
Life's trials insider
no shirt
no shoes
no service
So the sign says
Livin life on a timer
Tic toc lifer
Tear on her eyelid
Don't go she says
Not understanding
How hard it is
Not breaking
At the sound
Of tears in her voice
Tic toc lifer
Livin life on a timer
Box rider
Brother beside her
Got to go
This time
But someday...

Chris  mcQueeney    9/24/14

Day nine of writing every day...Today the writing is alright. Life seems flat for some reason, and I feel apathetic to the everyday things  I have to do. That is all right, It's not always that way...I say it is all right but at the same time I feel that it isn't. Talking about it today brought the focus on it for me. When the world feels flat it is a tough thing to get motivated, time seems to drag on. I don't like it when I get this way, and it is a relatively new thing. I think that it has something to do with the medication I have to take because of the brain damage I received two years ago. At times it feels akin to pulling teeth just to do the most simple of things. In the past I had more energy than I had things to do...that isn't the case now. At times it is as if I am wearing a led weighted suite, dragging along.
Oh well, I guess I will just have to walk this path until it get's better. I do have hope that it will get better...It will get better.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Day 8

Just so you know

get the fuck away
from me
dont you know
can't you see
how disturbed this
is making me
this presence
this your self
Here in front of me
is a dotted line
look closer and
you will see
This dotted line
Should be a sign
for you to back
The fuck off
Just so you know
you should go

Chris McQueeney    9/22/14

Good morning...this post has no berring on how my day is going and is not directed at anyone in particular. Have a good day:-)

Monday, September 22, 2014

The Mag

image credit at the Magpie Tales: Mag 238 please feel free to visit

The dam

Water's cresting
I hope
The dam is three
Feet under
Under all this
Damn water
Water's holding
The life of this
Place in time
What ever possessed
Them to cross
The dotted line
Their maps said
Flood plain
Well we think
We should put
Houses over there
...fools are we
Water's cresting
I hope

Chris McQueeney    9/22/14    2:46  P.M.

"What were you thinking? You had to know where that would get you...out in the yard with wet feet!" said the woman with a scornful twist to her features "The water is up to your knees and you go out in it like you don't have a concern in the world. We had to look for your sister yesterday, now you up and wander off. As if we don't have better things to worry about!"
Head lowered the girl refused to answer...........

Sunday, September 21, 2014

To relate

Is it fun in there

Where do you go
When your eyes blank
Out like that right there
Is it fun in there
Behind those ocular sentries
I try and try and try 
To get into what you
Are feeling
But it is kinda hard
To relate
So blank of face
You become
Scary is a close second
Behind disgusting 
In describing words
For what it is like
In dealing with you at times
Are you there
Or is your body just 
Occupying the space you  
Formerly held so tight
Are you there 
Or am I just talking
To a bag of skin filled
To the brim with shit 
Colored emptiness
You should probably walk
Away now before 
Your emptiness spills out

Chris  McQueeney   9/21/14    4:39  P.M

This is the second piece I have written for today and it is not a true life piece, has no place in the real world. I like it when I get to write fiction and it feels like it is coming from a true experience, feels good.

It's a small world

With tears in their eyes

That world was a big place
So was said
Till that day at Trinity
I like to think
The world stood still
For a fraction 
Of a second
That's all it took
In that nuclear instant
That big world was
Laid low
Imagine all of heaven's Angles
Singing it's a small world
After all
With tears in their eyes

Chris  McQueeney    9/20/14

This was penned in response to Christopher's poem Here

I think it is day 5 of writing every day of thirty. This experiment is going well enough, I think. Today's poem was actually written yesterday. I find that some of my best poetry is sparked from reading other poets work, and Christopher's poems stand out in the inspiration department. I think that tomorrow I am going to write a story for the's been a while...........

Saturday, September 20, 2014

My kids

Open up inside
Give freely
Of the plenty that
Is you
Take little
Of what is offered
To you
Live for tomorrow
By the time you get there
Yesterday will be
two days away
Open up your insides
Spill the beans
If done correctly
Good may yet come

Chris McQueeney

Im off to see my kids today! It has been a week and I am ready to see them again...............

Friday, September 19, 2014

what do you see


Broken is the place to be
stride forth from there
what do you see
vacant spaces
making up empty places
not even a tree
Broken was the place to be
taking up
all of you and me
vacant faces
lining empty places
as far as the eye
can see

Chris McQueeney    9/19/14   

Day four of thirty and it seems like an infinity. The writing is going ok, but I want it better. Tomorrow will be a full day because I get to see my children. Chase and Karley are their names, and I love them desperately. Not sure what we will be doing, something that costs nothing I'm sure. They will have a good time no matter what we do because they will be doing it with Papa. I think the hardest part will be when it is time to go. They don't understand and I can't explain it to them in a way that will make sense so they get very sad. All I can do is be supportive and loving...doesn't seem like much but it is what I have for them for now. And on that note have a good day and I will see you tomorrow.....................

Thursday, September 18, 2014


See it unravel

I sit here wondering
From day to day
What should I do
What can I say
My life has been broken
It took but a moment
Who would think
A life could be destroyed
In the blink of an eye
It took but a moment
To pull the pin
Throw the grenade
Then let us begin
See it unravel
Day by day
I've been broken by life
What else can I say
Broken by life
To this very day

Chris McQueeney    9/18/14    10:05  A.M.

Day three of my thirty day write...And we get a poem this morning. I kinda feel the spark this morn, well shit, I guess I do feel something. For the last few months I have been posting from my phone, and I guess it is harder to tap into the creative part of my mind that way. I actually feel physically Good today so that may have something to do with my writing, I'll have to keep track of that as well. Ok, that is enough for today................

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Second Day

This is the second day of thirty where I am posting no matter if I feel the spark or not. Everyone has responded ion the same fashion...Keep Writing they say, so I will. I am starting to think that this slump might have been caused by my medications. Maybe, but not for sure. One thing I do know for sure is that my love for creating will keep me butting up against the wall of this slump trying to break through...........

Chris McQueeney

Tuesday, September 16, 2014


Living that life
is a simple
kinda thing
one house
two cars
and a diamond
in a ring
keeping up with the
Jones's and their
family is different
Everything bigger
shiner and newer
always on the up
up and away
thoughts of tomorrow
never today
never satisfied
no way

Chris McQueeney

This is probably one of the worst poems I have ever written...But, I am posting it anyway. I am going to try something different. For the next thirty days I am going to post on my blog every day. not ever post will have poetry but I will have it on some. I need to work through this writing and life slummp, and I think that forcing myself to sit at the computer even when I don't feel the spark, and I don't that's for sure. Not sure the reason for my writing doldrums but it is a big pain in the ass. I miss the passion that happens inside when I am writing from my muse, it's been a while......................... 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Fickle beast

Laid out

Lifting my foot
I step away from
this path
laid out for me
by the well meaning

I step away from
infinity to unknown
walking my fears
along with me
trusting in the fates

This path
unrestrained without limits
within the unformed
sentences brought about
by times guiding light

Laid out for me
is nothing like
what was meant to be
giving me hope
that somehow I'll be free

By the well meaning
this path was laid out
For not me
for you and you and you
Never going to be

Chris McQueeney    9/15/14    10:38 P.M.

I am currently typing at a public library...And am grateful for it's presence. This writing thing is such an outlet, but at the same time it is a fickle beast. It needs to be fed, and nurtured. I have gone through a dry-spell; not able to put my thoughts together in a coherent fashion. It is frustrating to say the least to sit down to write and only be able to put something together that feels woody and contrived. It is also frustrating to write while exhausted. It takes energy to write, almost as much as moving bricks. So when the inspiration is there with the energy I try to take advantage of it. Today I am just plodding along.....................

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Stalking the Demon

Displaying Amazon ebookcover 4500x2820.jpg

TWITTER – @CiaraBallintyne

This is a new short novel by a friend of mine, maybe you could check it out...or check out her website.

The Mag


I've been left
behind again
empty inside
it seems now
where did you go
when you found your soul
I didn't know
you had it so
hard here with me
streched so thin you snapped
like a strummed string
off key you ring
through my world
a whirling dervish
smashed it's way through
all of me
how can it be
this dream of you
with out me
withheld I may be
in this the stream
of your time
Leave, I don't care
Been here before
be here again
you may have left
behind me
your residue stayed

Crhris McQueeney    9/13/14   2:13 P.M.

This was penned in response to Christopher over at he had a post for the mag and the pic that was posted there


Having Had

Having had the spark
lighting me off
Arcing from pole to pole
Mark the word
Hear the say
Having had the spark
I know it's touch
A million candle  watt
Fingers dance the 
Keyboard path
Jolting out my way
Having had the spark

Chris McQueeney    9/13/14

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

under the waves

Miles Deep

Blinded by the light
I sat in a corner
Cradling my own mind
Glass surrounded me
For miles in waves
A sea of shattered memories
Miles deep
Not able to see
I can still hear
Cries from those depths

Chris McQueeney    9/9/14    4:45 P.M.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

On a broken heart

They mend

Broken hearts mend
Much stronger
She says
From her seat of years
Believe you me
Walk a mile more
In your own shoes
Before you give up
Broken hearts heal crooked
But they heal
This you will find
With time
And pain
Find it you will
Broken hearts mend
Much stronger
She says
From her seat of years
They mend...

Chris McQueeney   9/9/14    4:45 P.M.

Friday, September 5, 2014

the movie sucked

From behind

hiding inside my own mind
trying to figure out the trick
of looking at myself
from behind
it's hard enough traversing
the corners and curves
looking from the front
I am getting pretty good
at riding my own back
not giving credit for
improvising a life broken
by needs better left behind
unspoken words of comfort
calamity around every corner
hiding inside my own mind
trying to help myself
from behind

Chris McQueeney

Today was a good day...I got to spend the lions share of it with my grandmother and her partner. We went and visited my aunt and second cuz. He is a cute little guy. After that we went to the local mall to watch a movie. The movie was one of those feel good about your life be a better person high school football kinda movies. I was glad when it was over. I loved the company but the movie just sucked. After which we had dinner in the food court. I also got the oppertunity to talk with grandmother about where I am at with my life and where I want to see it head. All in all a very good time...Thanks gram and Red I had a good time.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

the third wedding

Twenty years ago yesterday I got the chance to be a part in my father's third wedding. He was marrying a beautiful woman named Vivian, at a horse ranch. Me being almost seventeen and adhd I couldn't wait for all the wedding stuff to be over. After the wedding my sister and I and one other snuck off (drove off with the car) to go get stoned. By the time we got back, throughly baked, everyone was pissed at us...What we didn't know at the time we took off was that we were supposed to be in the wedding pictures directly after the wedding. so, oops we kinda fucked that up. Eventually the pictures got taken and everyone was mullified.
That day we got to go to my fathers final wedding, got to make asses out of ourselves and that night my sister got a five hundred and nineteen dollar speeding ticket. it was all around a good day and I am grateful I got the chance to be a part of it. I miss him dearly, these last eleven years without him have been tough but having memories like these help a bit, just a bit........ 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


Some them mems

Sitting here thinking
Bout days gone by
Thinking hard to put
The pieces back together
An impossibility
Some them mems
Burned beyond repair
What's left
What's still there
Is disjointed and not clear
But its what I got
To work with now
Now being the operative word
Got to live in the now
Just for today
They say it'll get better
With time
With time...Fuck you
With that with time shit
I want it now
Why the fuck can't I have it now know why
Broken brain feeling the strain
Of the mundane just trying to get by
Let alone excel
Just sitting here trying to
Remember me
Where I am and where I need to be

Chris McQueeney  1:38  P.M.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014


Shining one

Qualify yourself
qualify your surrounding
Can you
In some ways I am sure you
Can't even come up with a qualify
For an at bat in a t-ball game
You are a fucking shame at times
But for all of that
You are the best of us
At times even the best of us
have not the quality
To qualify as better
then the least of us

Chris McQueeney

This is the very first poem fully composed on my new mac. I have no idea how to use this damn thing but I am giving it a go anyway...maybe a course from a mac pro will help....