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Saturday, December 28, 2013

could be your own

Once upon a day

Once upon a day
The trees dropped leaf scant cover
Torn away bare to sight
Stripped of plumage ripped of pretenses
Shivering it stood, daytime, not yet night

Once upon a day
Life ganged up, humanity turned cheek
“Tough love you know” and hastened away
Walking wounded bone weary shivering
Close to froze even closer to fate being food deprived
In that state

Once upon a day
Empathy born from horror
Our grandfather’s war was fought
To bring food and blankets with dear coin
Gladly we paid to stave off starvation
Cold exposure staying that chilled kiss
Of the long sleep
Most of a world away

I wish I could just say
Nothing but a memory
Pictures pinned angrily to the wall
Mr. Mortimer’s class, history, documenting
Dachau, Auschwitz some place near
Walt’s dream castle, New Schwanstein
Atrocity, holocaust death camps
 Technicolor magic kingdom of Disney fame
No matter the beauty
The mount with castle astride it
Images tattoo inside my closed eyelids
Twenty-four years later will never go away

But sadly that I cannot say, no,
For that starved and broken look
Now fated also to never go away
I saw too close to our home
Like those from that war half a world away
But on a clean window, downtown Oregon City
I stood in front of for a moment earlier today

One slight moment upon this day
Just one was enough
Quickly dropped gaze
My reflection,
Emaciated…bone weary,
And I limped away

Christopher McQueeney     12/28/2013    3:55  A.M.

This was actually weeks ago, but a woman walking past me today mirrored it…the time I saw her before that, about two weeks ago, she spoke of her intention to go sleep in the woods…there are starving and needy people n your neighborhood…a can of tuna costs a buck…a funeral costs us our humanity

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Teddy bears....keeping another pillow safe!!!

There is A

There’sss a monster
Underneath my bed
That’s all right
He’s friends with
All the voices
In my head
As I lay my self
Down to bed
They get together
And run rampant
Instead of resting
Like I need to be
At least, they see
All the possibilities…
To be…if
Left to me
Rampant they run
Knowing all of the fun
To be had
That’s why
The Monster and the Voices
Have so much fun
All night
Under my head
Beneath my pillow
Below my bed…

Christopher McQueeney   12/24/13   8:51 P.M.

I may have found the answer to the dilemma I have been having...

Staying the night at the fathers heart in Oregon city. they treated me with kindness when family (only one ) slammed the door in my face

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Father's Heart...Oregon City....

Yes Seconds

Yes, the sign says
On the very first line
Black letters, green background
Seconds, The word
On the very last line
Two words tell a story
So clearly defined


Says the sign
Black letters, green behind
The hungry stand lined up
One thought on their mind
Tonight I wont sleep hungry
Worries no mind
Maybe tomorrow We will see
The other side
Black letters Red background 
only one line
One word, two letters
only one line


Is all you will find

Christopher McQueeney   12, 13, 2013   2:30 P.M

I stood in line with them, hungry, and gretful, that when starving food was provided

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Santa's Caper


Santa's Caper
I swear, I left it here
he says with a little
hiccup in his get up
and go cuz we got these damn
deer shitting everywhere

 and trying to play those fucking reindeer games,
I mean really, fucking reindeer games...
works better with Gary seneese, sted we got stinky ass beasts...
Fu king rain dear gamZ.
Gods damn it all" face purpling "Rudolf you fucking degenerate,
get back in line. and for fucks sakes stop lighting up your nose under blitzing's balls,
just aint right I say...Word to the wise,
straight from Santa's mouth to his belly,
maybe a bit from his butt, that's gross,
that place your mind just went, pew! back to Santa's inside
bubbles from his belly to his brain flash front and center
hmmm, to your surprise, didn't see this one coming, can tell from his eyes,
 he's drunk, flying over, Rolling dirty, he is
super fucking High
"Mother fuck Yeah!!! Got my keys!"
he shouts from inside the dilapidated kid sized playhouse
inside that house that was silent
"Motherfucking lazy ass deer help me get this fucking thing off me before we fly.
We got to stop in Colombia on our way to that know the one, that sultan,
the one that fucks anything and lives in dubi!"
Soooo, next year keep it safe, close, inside,
rum in his eggnog on Christmas eve is horrible, wrong,
it's not ok to drink and fly.
"Dam nit Donner Keep your shit to the left, fly straight I don't wanna die."
 Shouted Santa from that house that was silent
 was silent, once upon a time...

Wander 12/2/13 4:30 P.M.
December 1, 2013 at 4:34 PM

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Open letter

You think you know 
what that word means
You think you 
know me
you think flipping over your table
had even occurred 
to me
The thought of hurting 
you or yours
never even came to me
don't you have any idea
how much you and they
mean to me
you wonder why I keep bringing up
my family
how the fuck can you/they
not see
you/they are the only thing 
that means a fucking thing
to me
no, I'm not angry
I'm sad and scared
of trying to live
When everything I hear
and see
tells me to ask you
to end it all
for me...
because I cant, your in my way

Christopher McQueeney  4:29 P.M 11/27/13

Friday, November 22, 2013


It Grew

We fell in love
This is true
We fell hard,
Me...and then you

We fell in love
Me and you
Fell hard indeed 
As only few do

I fell hard
If only I knew
How into hardness I fell
And only it grew

We fell in love
But into hardness it grew
Falling into hardness broke me
My falling broke you too

Christopher McQueeney 9:45 P.M. 11/22/2013

Their may be a flashlite at the end of the tunnle...maybe even a lantern because I am starting to see where my feet are landing...i was diagnosed with encephalopathy, toxic...only took sixteen months for dr's to reach that conclusion. any info you can share would be greatly appreciated...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Welcome to wander's world
corndog fries and
potato curles
in his world the
criddlers are crawling through

Your door

creeping through your door
they finger your goodies,
`then c the things 211a.....
Grip it tight you battle once more

the criddlers are crawling
the floor
criddling your brains
destroying the door

Christopher Michael Mcqueeney    11/13/2013  6:01P.M.

to my friends out thank you for your concern 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013



Maybe I really did die
That day
And…my life
Hasn’t gone astray
Just stuck
In limbo
My vision the window
My forehead stuck to
That day

Chris McQueeney    10/9/13    2:40 P.M.

This is the ….I don’t know 7th day in this facility and I am learning
a lot(no not jail). The thing that has been brought up over and over in the last few months is that I have to make accommodations for my disability, rather than excuses…get the help I need, take positive action in my own life…due to my stay in the hospital I doubt that I will get the chance to go to Texas, and I am very sad about that, but I gotta do what I gotta do.
Yesterday was a very hard one for me, today not much better but at least  I have a day that could  be bad…rather than a headstone…………………………………………………

    Wander    10/9/13

Monday, October 7, 2013

This has been a long trip through crazy town…something happened to me a year ago when I was hurt at work, and I hadn’t had the correct language skills to express what I  really needed. The last 9 months have been hell for me…I have watched my life systematically destroyed, knowing it was happening, and I chose to do it on purpose so I could live long enough to write this to all of you.
Thank all of you; I’ll be back on tomorrow with a piece to post and some hellos….

Wander    10/7/13    8:48 PM

Monday, July 29, 2013

Have just a moment to write...I am using a friend's computer. thanks for reading this and I hope to be up and running again soon..................................

Monday, June 17, 2013


I walked from the small patients room with fury.
I made it to the stairway before I couldn't go any further
I started took everything I had not to scream, to not rage. I invested every emotional cent I had left on that appt...
Two days later I said"something went wrong..."
" I know, we barely touched it." He said.
 "I'm alive" I said as we both looked at the mostly full half gallon of gin.
Two days before the Dr that I had invested so much emotional coin on informed me that he was contractually bound by S.A.I.F. (the insurer) not to tell me what his findings were and not to give me any advice. "My hands are tied." Said the Dr.

I was injured on the job, through no fault of my own...and my life has been destroyed. I love my family and friends, love life and writing, but the only thing that has kept me going are my children...and when I left that fucking dr's office even that wasn't enough.

Souls Blood

Whole again
The way I was before
They took the pin Out of the wheel
And the spokes fell off
Broken and torn tattered and beaten
On the ground you'll find me bleeding
My soul’s blood out

Needing the world to be
A gentle place If but for a day
Knowing that one more Pain will take away
My need to keep breathing for real

On this hill I climb
It is the one on which you’ll find me
Making a final stand this once I choose
I will upright fight from
The top...

This is the hill worth
Dying on

Chris McQueeney

 I wrote that piece in Aug of last year...June almost a year later and my physical life is the same

At a loss

Are we disgruntled today
are we gasping
and wheezing at a loss
for breath
cursing and ruing the day
the gas took our
life away
but did not cause
our death

Chris McQueeney     9/9/12    10:03P.M.

please look into the workman's compensation laws in your state and see if they are even beneficial to the worker...Oregon's are not. Today I am angry, and I am intent on going after them...but anger only lasts so long.

Friday, May 31, 2013

worth a shit

Life is full

Life is full 
Of painful shit
Shattered dreams
And excrement
But without
The pain
And nasty shit
Life and love
Beauty and 
what comes with it
Hopes and dreams 
Would have no fulfilment 
So no matter how
I bemoan my days
The thought that comes
And always stays
How lucky I am
Even though
Some days
Aren't worth a shit

Chris McQueeney    5/31/13    12:36 P.M.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Scissors... toy, or terror, you decide...discuss.....

Runs with scissors

I runs with scissors
He clames
With pride
So his shirt says
If you can read it beside
All that dirt and grime
Grunge under his nails
Filth on his hands
Not sitting down for
This life
On top of it he stands
Stooped sholdrs bent back
To the price
He's paid
His armorment proofed
With pride
I runs with scissors
He clames
With pride
So his shirt says
If you can read it beside
Its too bad they bite
He says
As tears roll from his eye
He tries to hold from out
What's spilling from inside
I runs with scissors
He clames
With pride
It hurts so when they bite
Spills from inside
It hurts so
When they bite

Chris McQueeney  5/29/10    12:15 A.M.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Malt liquor on NE MLK

You need to

Where the fuck am
He says
And her eyes
Light up in that
Special way
In the hospital
She says
You know you were
Where the hell am I
He says
His eyes glazed
 Hands all a trembling
Do you have somewhere
 To go
She says
I'll try but I don't think
They'll let you stay
But I have to try something
Where the fuck am I
I say
Standing in the emergency
 Room hallway
All the doors
Are the same can you
Please help me
Find the way

On the stumble
To the store
For beer to cage
The screaming beast
In his chest
Echo the words of
The paramedic
 Man you need to
Quit drinking
Or you will
End up dead
Then the paramedic
 Paused in despair
And then repeatedly
Shouted in my ear
Or you
Soon be
 Those words rang
Through his head
Drinking malt liquor
He said/shouted...

Or soon I will be dead

Chris McQueeney.   5/14/13.

I will be posting this at dVerse poetry pub to share my words with theirs

Monday, May 13, 2013

Monday mauling

The air between

The best thing that
Can be said
About you
Is that that
Hole in your
Spilling filth
And insu a tions
Has been filled
With superglue
The air rubbing
That vacant place
Between your ears
Made a queer sound
Offensive to hear
Much better now
Your hole's been
Closed off to sound
No more drama
And bullshit spreading
Tied to you
That hole is made
It's a flat place
Filled with super glue

Chris McQueeney 10:20 AM

This is actually a light one

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Years of painful dedication

Board Shorts

Gutter surfing
Is a way
Of life
Night times full of
Daytimes full of
Years of painful
But as you can see
Nary a wife

Gutter surfing
Is a way
Of life
Somehow in life’s
Train station
I missed the

Gutter surfing
Is a way
Of life
Caught the tube
In the gutter
Somewhere on
Northwest Burnside

Gutter surfing
Is a way
Of life
Swallowing me too
My dinners in the drink
A twenty piece
Grinding away
My mind
If you only knew

Gutter surfing
Is a way
Of life
If you only knew
My life is in
That drink
If you only knew
My life is in
That drink
If you only knew

Chris McQueeney    5/12/13    12:16 P.M.

I think this stands by itself so I wont post the pic that generated the spark…but, if you would like please go over to View From The Northern Wall and see.......