Looking forward

 



     I came to with my foot in the fire...the fire was out and the cold was what woke me. I had spent the previous night under the bridge on Washington street in Oregon city. I am glad today that I woke when I did because if I hadn't i would have frozen to death; merry Christmas.
    That was my intro to Christmas morning 2013. I woke starving and in need of a drink or something to take the edge off the insanity in my head. you see I came by my place under the bridge through a series of unfortunate events that started the day after almost  dying on the job. For the longest time I put the blame on the injury itself...while partially true it doesn't cover enough ground.
    The day after My injury, which was a massive exposure to chemical toxins and caustics, I found myself screaming at the insurance adjuster. I was swearing at her at the top of my lungs."You are going to ruin my life, what the fuck is wrong with you people I have two children and i cant afford you fucking my life up."
   What I didn't know at the time was that I had suffered brain damage from the chemicals I had inhaled. Toxic encephalopathy was causing my erratic behavior. But being a man and a fearful one at that I didn't tell anyone all of what was going on until months after my injury.
    It took 16 months of progressively sliding into insanity, all of the safeguards that I had established had by then eroded away, for the dr's at the hospital that I again almost died at to finally diagnose what was going on. The whole time it appeared that I was just an alcoholic going through the consequences of late stage alcoholism; but that aspect is a whole story on its own, needless to say for now I did what I had to do to stay alive. 
    I am now looking at a life that has the opportunity of healing. Through a whole lot of hard work on my part, the understanding of the people in my life and the grace of a god that I don't understand I have the opportunity to live again.
    I was lucky, on most days I am ok, others may not be as lucky...mental illness probably destroys more lives than we give it credit for. It is real, and they probably have no choice in the matter.



Heavy Enough


Love is a mountain
Heavy as can be
Lofty enough
to lift one up
Wider than
One could ever need
Love is a mountain
high enough 
to lift one up
Wide enough 
To cover you up
Heavy enough
To crush me


Christopher McQueeney    4/29/14    9:18 A.M.

Unsurpassed, By Charity Parkerson

Here is a press release from a friend of mine about her newest title...please welcome Charity Parkerson to Wanderwithoutbeinglost!!

Unsurpassed

By

Charity Parkerson

Blurb:

Book 1 in the No Rival series

Aubree is infatuated with two men, Max and Ryan. The two former Marines have been her close friends ever since she made her first misguided attempt at joining their kickboxing classes. When the pair invites her to join them at a weekend party thrown by Drew, a famous MMA champion, she has no idea what they have in mind. After spending one hot ménage night with the pair, Aubree learns the men’s intentions are not all about her. Feeling betrayed, Aubree turns to Drew who is also tugging at her heart. She must choose between the two men who have been the center of her fantasies, and the one man who could make all her dreams come true.

Inside Scoop: This sexy tale includes a ménage and male/male encounters that may leave you wishing for an alpha male fighter of your own.
A Romantica contemporary erotic romance from Ellora's Cave Publishing

Buy Links:

http://www.ellorascave.com/unsurpassed.html

Excerpt:

Leaning against the cool wood of the hotel room door, she met his stare trying hard not to smile like an idiot.

“This was fun.”

Drew’s eyes flashed. “If you ask nicely, I’ll let you take me to bed.”

She shook her head at his antics. “What if I’m not feeling especially nice?”

Drew brushed his hand over her hip. “You’re right. You do feel naughty,” he agreed. Holding her stare, he bent closer, giving her time to protest his advance. The door opened at Aubree’s back. If she hadn’t hit the solid wall of Max’s chest, she might have ended up sprawled across the floor. Tilting back her head, she took note of the angry expression on Max’s face before switching her gaze back to Drew. His eyes danced with humor as he mouthed, “Denied,” and Aubree slapped her hand over her mouth to smother her giggles.

“Have a nice night, Drew.” Drew ignored Max’s snarling words.

“May I see you again?”

“I’d like that,” she answered without hesitation. Max growled. At the sound, Drew flashed him a cocky grin before giving her a wicked version of it and turning away. As soon as he moved out of the doorway, Max slammed it closed, focusing his ire on her. She’d never seen him truly angry before now. She laughed nervously.

“Are you drunk?”

“No,” she answered, incredulous. “I’ve had two glasses of champagne all night.”

“Your face is flushed.”

Aubree shrugged. “I’m happy. I had a good time.”

Max prowled toward her. The hard set of his jaw caused a flutter of desire to run through her. “Did you forget who you came here with?”

Unable to think of a single retort, she shrugged again. “I’m young and single. Why shouldn’t I enjoy myself?”

Max’s eyes flashed dangerously. His tone had a bite to it when he spoke. “You are not single.”

Author Bio:

Charity Parkerson is an award winning and multi-published author with Ellora's Cave Publishing. Born with no filter from her brain to her mouth, she decided to take this odd quirk and insert it in her characters.

*2013 Readers' Favorite Award Winner
*2013 Reviewers' Choice Award Winner
*ARRA Finalist for Favorite Paranormal Romance
*Five-time winner of The Mistress of the Darkpath
*Named one of the top 10 best books by an Indie author in 2011- Paranormal Reads Reviews
*Best Paranormal Romance of 2012- Paranormal Reads Reviews
Connect with her online:

--Website: http://www.charityparkerson.com

--Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/authorCharityParkerson

                  http://www.facebook.com/TheMenofSin

--Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/CharityParkerso

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Where did I go wrong with my life
Better to ask instead
where did I go right
was it drinking that day
and not ending
my life
worry some other day
i thought that night
yes i drank that day
but god saved my life
you might say
i would say you
were right
on that day I
lost the words to say
there is something
killing me today
but I am stuck
with my life

blessings be upon you

For i Fit

Rest easy 

in me

For i fit

Can't you see

Rest easy 

in my love

For it's free

Rest easy 

in me

For i want nothing

more from you

Than you would

Give easily

Rest easy

in me

Christopher mcqueeney    6:34 pm     4/14/14

the idea for this post comes from http://www.tashtoo.com/ she is a gifted poet

bait and switch

Do I Roam

In this crawl space

Do i roam

for if this is to be

My resting place

All that is left to me

Is your love

This means much

To me

So much indeed

I am filled with

An overwhelming

Need

To bate your last two threads

Of sanity until

They can't but disagree

Tearing you in two

A last gift from me

This slow kiss

For you

Christopher McQueeney    12 of of 2012

rough draft

Imagine no posetions
bet you couldnt if you tried
no need for hunger
no guilty sin of pride
imagine no posetions
couldnt if you tried
x box on your tv
ipod by your side imagine all the people
living for facebook today
you may say Im a sinic
I hope Im not the only one
maybe ysomeday you'll see the sell out
then at least there will be more than one
imagine all the people
listning to the words he said
then imagine lennon's disgust
priceless immage even if only for onelistin to his music
imagine his disgust
the whole world being as one
the fruite of a rotten tree