Wander without being lost: Poem comp #1

I am posting a series of poems in one post because I have them posted on FaceBook already but want them here for safe keeping

County bound

Washington county bound
And destined to fail
Once you are behind their bars
Inside their jail
All hail the mighty beast
The need to punish
Grind down the will to resist
Sacrifice the will to live
Become less than human
To survive just one more day
The hardened say
Time ain't shit
But when you look in
Their eyes
And at their manic grins
Puts paid to their state
Of mind
If you look hard enough
You will find
All the grooves
From the machinery
Cement and steel
Everything hard
The only feel to have is pain
Freedom only a specter to fear
The odds are you will find
Yourself on your way back here
Washington County bound
And destined to fail

Of me

And I kick the tangles
Of my life
As if to expose
Those moments that defined
Me
And placed me in
Time
Had I been serious in my intent
I would step to the side
So as to find
The start of things
Then pick it up
To bring
It closer for inspection
Knit it into a pattern
For all to see
At least that little stretch
Of me

Inadvertently

What happens
When it just slips through
The cracks
Is the world over
Never coming back
What if the best I have
Just wont pick up the slack
I try so hard
I try I try
But I just can't find
What my fingers missed
What inadvertently I've left behind
I've simplified my life
Because
I can't trust my mind
Still things fall to the wayside
Even though I tried
Yet I push on
And on I find
With help I can "just get by"
And by that I can have a life
What happens when things
Slip through a crack
Its all right
I got people they got my back...

Chained

They say them vape
Machines be ok
So I donned a blindfold
And puffed away
Apple candy
Raspberry pie
Gave um all a try
I wont lie
I thought it sexy
To puff like a chimney
Expelling great clouds
Then the thought occurred to me
May have no more empty packs
Or a mouth like an ashtray
But to this handheld
Machine I am chained...

That motherfucker bites

grief is a beast with sharp teeth
And it's got my number
Gets me every time
It's sharpened bite
Latching on
And me already tender
I fail to keep it in
Comes out sideways
Dousing everyone in my vicinity
Vitriol in its purist form
Pain driven rants stain
Making things fucked up again
Grief is a beast with sharp teeth
Comes out of left field
Beats me up and down
Protections hamper it not in the least
Steal myself against its
Not so tender mercies
If you see me
All hunched up
Tears coursing my cheeks
Leave me be
Please don't seek to comfort me
Lest in my pain
I lash out again
And cause in you
Your very own grief

God bless the USA

I went to watch
The television today
And got reminded why I went away
Reality tv
Entertainment news try to control me
Pound for pound there be no
Louder voice around
But that's OK
Corporate America will have their way
Armed conflicts are good for business
And business is good today
The wheels on the machine
Grind their way
Through our day to day
Life
Our people are dying
For nothing
But that's OK
It's not happening next door
Thousands of miles
Oceans away
Why do all the Republicans
Want you to hate
While the Democrats distract
With social issues
Both are just pundents
Privately funded
From the same coffers
We die in the tens
While they die in the thousands
Who started it anyway
Wasn't them
But that's OK
It's in our national security
At least that's what the politicians
And the newscasters
All say

The Piggly Wiggly

And the day
Went by
That they didn't care
All's fair in love
And war
But they say
This is no war
Then the side of their neck
Opens up
This is a war on terror
They spout
As if Terror was a tang able thing
Terror is a great motivator
Makes uneducated trailer trash
Quake in their boots
What if them turban heads
Come to Alabama to take our jobs
And rape our women
Cuz you know that
Terrorists come from Mexico
And Muslims don't believe in God
Least that's what Jim at the Piggly Wiggly
Said his preacher told all the good folks
It's a war of terror
And we take no prisoners of war
Oh them?
They be what you call "detainees"

Yet we see

There be magic in this world
Yet all we see are computers and compromise
Food carts
And crack heads on the corner
We wear glasses to see clearly
But the lenses are only attuned
To the surface of things
There be magic in this world
You have only to try
To see to the heart of things

Looked into his eyes

I saw a dream today
A dream of a life gone away
I looked into his eyes
saw my fate
And my past
All it took was one glance
But I kept looking
Just the same
From an outside perspective
It is just a god damn shame
From an outside perspective
Only he and he only was to blame
See, the only thing is
From an inside perspective
We are just the same
It is easy to look at that wreckage
And say we wouldn't do the same
He should just get over it
For shame
It is easy to look from the outside
And think we know who's to blame
If he would only try
All it took was one look into his eyes
For me to know the pain in his soul
For me to know that there is no control
Nothing he can do on his own
No human way to walk back
From the depths of that hell
I looked him in the eye without flinching
Or blaming him for being him
Instead I offered him some compassion
Spent a little gas on
Taking him to a place where he could be safe
To a place where he could get the help he so desperately needs
I saw a dream today
A dream of a life gone away

The wager

Took a walk today
To see what I could see
Looked at my steps
What I left behind
I set my soul down
Somewhere
I set it down
And I didn't care
Set it down
Back there
Had no idea
Until I stopped to see
What I had left
behind me
Turned around
Step by step
I set out to find
The soul I left behind
The farther I went
The more I could see
The damage I caused
It was all me
I couldn't hide from the fact
Soul or not
I broke my pact with the world
Punishing those around me
Laid the blame at their feet
When all they wanted for me
Was peace
And the freedom to be
Safe and whole
Step by painful step
It became clear to me
I would need some help
So I wagered my soul
And God brought it back to me
Winning a bet never felt so good
My soul is here and I am free

Keyboard hero

Klicking your way
From day to day
Ever there to say
Here I am
I know the way of things
Never letting control
Go away
The feel of keys
Ease your mind
As you save the day
Everyone needs a hero
Like you
Showing them the way
The Way
You can't help it
If you are gifted
These things just happen
You say to an empty room
Turning off the computer
Is ok for now
You'll be back soon
Good for them
You think
That You were there today
Keyboard Hero

I fucking hate Walmart

There you are
Sitting in your Ivory tower
Expecting everyone
To bow or
At least pay homage
To the all consuming
Intellectual prowess
You display
In the merest twitch of your little finger
You fucking twat
Just because you read
Hemingway
Doesn't mean you know
The tingle of fear
From crown to toe
Running with the bulls
Creates
To you Pamplona is just
A dot on the map
An artist's rendering
You know revolution through
Les Misérables
Though you have never walked
The Tuileries
You think you know the
Cost of war by watching
Saving Private Ryan
Dolby surround sound
You think you know Germany
Because you ate some
Black Forest ham
You revel in your intimacy
With hunger
Having seen the image
Of a starving child
In Time Magazine
You think you know humor
Because you once Saw Eddy Murphy
On the television
You sir are nothing
Store bought
I can find anything you have to offer
At Walmart
I fucking hate Walmart
But I would rather shop there
Than gain a fucking thing
From you...

Harmful to consume

Built-in obsolescence
Shelf life measured love
Just another in a long line
Of regularly occurring
Purchases
Expiration date metered
Self involvement
Processed filler like
Emotions
Generated by the shiny
Cellophane wrapper
And the numerals
On the price tag
Artificial ingredients
Harmful to consume
Offering only empty calories...

There and then

And she says with no pause
A week of days
And a month of nights
Have sailed the heavens
Since last we met
The quiet scratching of pen on paper
Or the manic clicking
Of keys
Chronicling this decent
Sleep deprivation blurring
The lines between
here and now
And
There and then
Making clear this little fact
Only sleep will bring you back
To me
Sanity once again
Maybe
Or maybe not
We'll see

Chris McQueeney 2015

Wheels in a tree

Oh to be a cog in the machine
Just a worker bee
Dotting my I's
Crossing my T's
No responsibilities
No decisions
Just my place in the machine
Build me up a rut
So deep
It would swallow me
And furnish that motherfucker
Cool calm comfort
Nothing out of place
Oh to be
Just a limb on a tree
Or better yet a ring
In its trunk for me
Years and years
Never bothering
Either a cog in the machine
With a furnished rut
Or a ring in a tree
Maybe then I'll be safe
And you will never find me
Won't get your fingers
In my cracks
Won't tear your way into me
Then again you could
Break your way into the machine
Light a fire under my tree
Guess you'll have me then
No escape
That's the problem with ruts and rings
They make it hard to flee
I still have scars
And wicked dreams
From the last time you caught me...

Chris McQueeney 2015

Wander without being lost

Blah Blah Blah

Monday, August 17, 2015

Poem comp #1

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