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Monday, November 28, 2011


I was sitting at McDonald's today pirating Internet. Good pastime that…I jump in the ss minnow and head over to the local swill dealer and don my eye patch, just for free Internet. What one will do to get free stuff!
 So I’m sitting mindlessly reading other blogger’s work when I heard a strangely familiar noise. Now if I was a better writer I would be able to write the sounds for you, but I’m not so I won’t. Within a short space of time I realized the two boneheads across from me were doing whippets!
Ok, for those not familiar with whippets I’ll explain.  A whippet is nitrous oxide in a little canister normally used for whip cream. Using a device called a “cracker” a canister is cracked open and the nitrous (otherwise known as hippy crack) is expelled into a balloon; known to the discerning whippet aficionados as….as….a…ah...balloon, yeah a balloon man.
I was less annoyed that those two boneheads were sucking down whippets in the middle of a busy McDonald's like they were going out of style, than by the fact that the fucking cracking is loud and annoying. Is that wrong?

So after that for some reason my mind turned to something more morbid. What would you do if you knew you were going to die? And when I say “Knew” I mean you have like a month, or six left and you had no question that it would happen. Think about it, and then put that thought on the shelf for a few minutes. Walk away, look from another direction, than pick it back up and think about it again. Is it still the same? 
This train of thought will be the basis for my next post, a short story about someone who has just got the news

The phone rings.
“Hello” a voice from the end of miles of wire says.
“Mike is that you?” the woman says with a hint of concern “Mike?”
Hushed wracking sobs could be heard from the phone.
“Mike what is wrong?” the hint has turned into a hurricane “your scaring me. Mike just say something!”
“Mom, Mom I’m dying…..

Chris McQueeney 11/28/11 11:23 PM

7 comments: said...

Damn. You got me hooked.


Wine and Words said...

Death doesn't scare me. Perhaps it should. I've prayed for it many times. My best friend says every time I pray for death, God just adds another year to my life. Ha! Wonder if it's true. But this I do know. If I knew I were dying in a week, a month, with absolute certainty? Oh hell yes, I'd live differently until my dying breath. That makes me sad. Real sad.

Ben Ditty said...

You have Annie? :( :( :(

But, wow, I'd never heard of whippets before! But I guess these drugs fads come and go so often, it's hard to keep track. You weren't wrong though. You can't make their own decisions for them so you shouldn't feel bad for what they're doing. They should have the decency to do it where they're not bothering people.

If I was going to die. Hmm. Crime spree. Maybe some world travel. Wrack up credit card debt. Finish my book of poetry, maybe write another novel.

Wander said...

@Annie, I have never understood the blatent desire for death, although I do understand the inability to handle life
@Ben I think those two were....fill in the blank, And I like the idea of the crime spree. Would that be an unexplaned rash of j walking, spitting on sidewalks, and walking around the south claming that the world is round and full of the creatures of evolution?
@Christian, What's up brother? Give me a call!

Punk Chopsticks said...

Oh my god.
Well, my mom tells us to contemplate on death at least three times a day, so I get that (You can imagine how my family's like).
Can't wait to read what it is, damn I'mm hooked xD

Wander said...

Thank you Punk...the Idea just spoke to me. Also is writing itself(not really)

She Writes said...

If I knew someone was dying I would want them to know I love them and why. all the little things that maybe never got said but should. the things that say I can't even imagine my life without yours in it. The things that say your life meant more to me than I will ever have words for. The things we should say when we don't know someone is dying.