Open letter

Angry
You think you know 
what that word means
Angry
You think you 
know me
you think flipping over your table
had even occurred 
to me
Angry
The thought of hurting 
you or yours
never even came to me
angry
don't you have any idea
how much you and they
mean to me
angry
you wonder why I keep bringing up
my family
how the fuck can you/they
not see
you/they are the only thing 
that means a fucking thing
to me
Angry...
no, I'm not angry
I'm sad and scared
of trying to live
When everything I hear
and see
tells me to ask you
to end it all
for me...
because I cant, your in my way


Christopher McQueeney  4:29 P.M 11/27/13

Diagnosis

It Grew


We fell in love
This is true
We fell hard,
Me...and then you

We fell in love
Me and you
Fell hard indeed 
As only few do

I fell hard
If only I knew
How into hardness I fell
And only it grew

We fell in love
But into hardness it grew
Falling into hardness broke me
My falling broke you too


Christopher McQueeney 9:45 P.M. 11/22/2013




Their may be a flashlite at the end of the tunnle...maybe even a lantern because I am starting to see where my feet are landing...i was diagnosed with encephalopathy, toxic...only took sixteen months for dr's to reach that conclusion. any info you can share would be greatly appreciated...

Welcome to wander's world
corndog fries and
potato curles
in his world the
criddlers are crawling through

Your door

creeping through your door
they finger your goodies,
`then c the things 211a.....
Grip it tight you battle once more

the criddlers are crawling
across
the floor
criddling your brains
destroying the door


Christopher Michael Mcqueeney    11/13/2013  6:01P.M.


to my friends out thank you for your concern 

Pains

Window

Maybe

Maybe I really did die

That day

And…my life

Hasn’t gone astray

Just stuck

In limbo

My vision the window

My forehead stuck to

That day

Chris McQueeney    10/9/13    2:40 P.M.

This is the ….I don’t know 7^th day in this facility and I am learning

a lot(no not jail). The thing that has been brought up over and over in the last few months is that I have to make accommodations for my disability, rather than excuses…get the help I need, take positive action in my own life…due to my stay in the hospital I doubt that I will get the chance to go to Texas, and I am very sad about that, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

Yesterday was a very hard one for me, today not much better but at least  I have a day that could  be bad…rather than a headstone…………………………………………………

    Wander    10/9/13

This has been a long trip through crazy town…something happened to me a year ago when I was hurt at work, and I hadn’t had the correct language skills to express what I  really needed. The last 9 months have been hell for me…I have watched my life systematically destroyed, knowing it was happening, and I chose to do it on purpose so I could live long enough to write this to all of you.

Thank all of you; I’ll be back on tomorrow with a piece to post and some hellos….

Wander    10/7/13    8:48 PM