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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

At least the pieces




Shelled
 

In the nest of her love
She has swallowed my soul
At least the pieces
 That make me Me

Left behind
An empty husk
 Shelled

The trick being
 Played on her

Those pieces of me
Swallowed by her
Turn her Her
 Into We…



As I lay


And with her kiss
As I lay
Cold shivers race my spine
On that day
Alas
I will be hers
And she,
She
Will be mine







As I lay, By Chris McQueeney  3/21/12  12:33  P.M   
Shelled, By  Chris McQueeney  4/2/12  10:20  P.M

dVerse poets  here   and  The Mag  here   Poets Rally  here

If your thing is reading Paranormal Romance, or You just want to check out a blog written well by a very nice woman, you should drop by Nadja Notariani She is currently rolling out her new novel, The Third Fate.
Nadja was also awesome enough to interview me and spotlight a couple of my pieces here

The above photo prompt came from Tess at The Mag and credit for the photo can be found at The Mag link above. 

29 comments:

christopher said...

As I Lay is a perfect little rhyme. This one makes me think of poets of old, the best of them.

Shelled speaks one of the truths of love.

Good work, my friend. Only 9000 or so to go.

Other Mary said...

I sense a wee bit of relationship ambivalence, heheh.

In your 'As I Lay' the masterful use of that one little word 'alas' makes the poem. I like 'Shelled' as well, interesting metaphor, but I wonder if you need the word 'shelled' in the body of the poem too. Just a thought, but you obviously know what you're doing. Kudos.

lisa said...

i LOVE this! seriously.

Kutamun said...

Gday Wander, im shell shocked, at the
Heights he has seen,
Stirring stuff

Nadja Notariani said...

'Shelled' is absolutely lovely. I wonder if he is so overpowering in personality that she becomes lost in we - or if he is simply becoming a permanent part of her. Nice.

Brian Miller said...

dude this is awesome...that first stanza after the shelled is great and the come back to it in the she becoming we...loved it man...

Nadja Notariani said...

And...thanks for the shout-out! That's really great of you!

Ben Ditty said...

You have great passion in your words! :)

Brian Miller said...

always great to see you at OLN too man...smiles.

Sarah in Maine said...

My first visit...
impressive writing.
Thank you for sharing.
Peace
Siggi in Downeast Maine

She Writes Here Now said...

Mmmm hmmm. I like this one. And there is some dark truth in it!

Fred Rutherford said...

Nice write(s). Some definitely neat thoughts and images here. Nice read(s). Thanks

Other Mary said...

By the way, I meant to say I really like your Seuss quote. And thanks for your last comment. I think I'm not done with that piece yet.

Sue said...

Whoa.
This is one great poem.

=)

Claudia said...

oh nice...i like it much...the becoming one before becoming one physically...not so very often the case nowadays...sometimes happens never...love the wholeness in this wander

booguloo said...

I'm glad I stopped by..This is a work of art.

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

You, you wrote some good stuff here. enjoyed the time .
http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com/

Helena said...

Shelled is perfectly formed. I can see his pain without the need to see his face....

skyraft said...

Nice work here.

Really like the picture as well. Meshes really well with the words.

Charles Miller said...

Very sweetly sung, making us aware of the unity that we become in true love. I like the idea that we must shed so much of ourselves in the other to become one.

Wander said...

Thanks all, I was having a hard time coming up with a poem for the prompt so I decided to pose As I lay and while reading it Shelled came to me...that is why the two.

Wander

Tumblewords: said...

Terrific!!

kj said...

'turn her into we'?

Chris, that is brilliant; the trick and surprise of the 'I'--kind of shell shocked !

I am so impressed with how you use such brief and simple words in your poetry. And I have to smile at all these deserving comments because I know they send you over the moon :-)

I have pneumonia. Grrrrrrrrr

Write me a story, send me an email, I'm just quietly here on the.couch :-)

Xo
kj

Roggy said...

I have to say this: youre damn good. Glad to have found a new person to read.

Melissa Ridley Elmes said...

I like this simplicity of your work, which belies the depth of the feelings and layers of emotions embedded in it. Well done! Here's my offering this week: http://caridwen.wordpress.com/2012/04/04/drafting-in-memoriam-adrienne-rich/

magdalenahermanstories said...

Awesome expression of love!

halfwaybetweenthegutter said...

Absolutely awesome! Swap the genders around, and I've been in this situation too many times.

http://halfwaybetweenthegutter.wordpress.com/2012/04/04/epiphany-2/

Kay said...

Rapturous piece. Very well written!

Charity Parkerson said...

Love the passion in this one.