Shelled
In the nest of her love
She has swallowed my soul
At least the pieces
That make me Me
Left behind
An empty husk
Shelled
The trick being
Played on her
Those pieces of me
Swallowed by her
Turn her Her
Into We…
As I lay
And with her kiss
As I lay
Cold shivers race my spine
On that day
Alas
I will be hers
And she,
She
Will be mine
As I lay, By Chris McQueeney 3/21/12 12:33 P.M
Shelled, By Chris McQueeney 4/2/12 10:20 P.M
If your thing is reading Paranormal Romance, or You just want to check out a blog written well by a very nice woman, you should drop by Nadja Notariani She is currently rolling out her new novel, The Third Fate.
Nadja was also awesome enough to interview me and spotlight a couple of my pieces here
28 comments:
As I Lay is a perfect little rhyme. This one makes me think of poets of old, the best of them.
Shelled speaks one of the truths of love.
Good work, my friend. Only 9000 or so to go.
I sense a wee bit of relationship ambivalence, heheh.
In your 'As I Lay' the masterful use of that one little word 'alas' makes the poem. I like 'Shelled' as well, interesting metaphor, but I wonder if you need the word 'shelled' in the body of the poem too. Just a thought, but you obviously know what you're doing. Kudos.
i LOVE this! seriously.
Gday Wander, im shell shocked, at the
Heights he has seen,
Stirring stuff
'Shelled' is absolutely lovely. I wonder if he is so overpowering in personality that she becomes lost in we - or if he is simply becoming a permanent part of her. Nice.
dude this is awesome...that first stanza after the shelled is great and the come back to it in the she becoming we...loved it man...
And...thanks for the shout-out! That's really great of you!
You have great passion in your words! :)
always great to see you at OLN too man...smiles.
My first visit...
impressive writing.
Thank you for sharing.
Peace
Siggi in Downeast Maine
Mmmm hmmm. I like this one. And there is some dark truth in it!
Nice write(s). Some definitely neat thoughts and images here. Nice read(s). Thanks
By the way, I meant to say I really like your Seuss quote. And thanks for your last comment. I think I'm not done with that piece yet.
Whoa.
This is one great poem.
=)
oh nice...i like it much...the becoming one before becoming one physically...not so very often the case nowadays...sometimes happens never...love the wholeness in this wander
I'm glad I stopped by..This is a work of art.
You, you wrote some good stuff here. enjoyed the time .
http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com/
Shelled is perfectly formed. I can see his pain without the need to see his face....
Nice work here.
Really like the picture as well. Meshes really well with the words.
Very sweetly sung, making us aware of the unity that we become in true love. I like the idea that we must shed so much of ourselves in the other to become one.
Thanks all, I was having a hard time coming up with a poem for the prompt so I decided to pose As I lay and while reading it Shelled came to me...that is why the two.
Wander
'turn her into we'?
Chris, that is brilliant; the trick and surprise of the 'I'--kind of shell shocked !
I am so impressed with how you use such brief and simple words in your poetry. And I have to smile at all these deserving comments because I know they send you over the moon :-)
I have pneumonia. Grrrrrrrrr
Write me a story, send me an email, I'm just quietly here on the.couch :-)
Xo
kj
I have to say this: youre damn good. Glad to have found a new person to read.
I like this simplicity of your work, which belies the depth of the feelings and layers of emotions embedded in it. Well done! Here's my offering this week: http://caridwen.wordpress.com/2012/04/04/drafting-in-memoriam-adrienne-rich/
Awesome expression of love!
Absolutely awesome! Swap the genders around, and I've been in this situation too many times.
http://halfwaybetweenthegutter.wordpress.com/2012/04/04/epiphany-2/
Rapturous piece. Very well written!
Love the passion in this one.
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