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Sunday, January 15, 2012

Living under water

 sculpture: Jason deCaires Taylor

They say that life is a journey
You have to experience to understand
I can see that being the case

They say the joy in life
Is in the living of it
That sounds ok to me

They say your life’s path
Can have meaning to others
I sure hope so

What they didn’t tell me
Is that no one above the surface
Can hear you scream


Chris McQueeney  1/15/2012 11:39PM

This is in response to the 100th prompt from Tess at magpie tales click here

23 comments:

Susie Clevenger said...

Wow...the ending a sudden surprise.

jennifer said...

I like this, very poignant. Well written.

christopher said...

Good one.... You are beginning to hit your stride. You have given me this small stone that will be published tomorrow -

Under Water

I'm gravid, drowning
in the bitter of old dreams,
pining for a bit
of the noonday sun.

Brian Miller said...

ooo very nice...love that unexpected there in the end....it is chilling...

Laurie Kolp said...

Enjoyed this... the ending is amazing.

Suz said...

oh golly...terrific

mylittlewordz said...

That last stanza was great. Nice construction!
Thanks for viewing my blog earlier.

Jamie

Trellissimo said...

Ain't that the truth! ♥

Tess Kincaid said...

I like the unexpected ending...

Sue said...

Kinda buries the platitudes, doesn't it?

Nice Magpie!

=)

Wander said...

Thank you Susie

Wander said...

@Christopher, thank you...and what the hell were you doing up at 2:30 in the morning?

@Brian, my ending kinda polar oppisite to your's...

Wander said...

Thank you.

Wander said...

Thank you for visiting.

Wander said...

Your welcome, thank you as well.

Wander said...

Sometimes, and thanks for visiting.

Wander said...

Thank you for the prompt, I have realy enjoyed joining in the tales.

Wander said...

Thank you, and yes it does!

Linda said...

I read your poem a few times because I enjoyed the way it was constructed. I like the message and the thinking. Thank you for sharing this and for visiting my blog.

Jasmine said...

....I'm sure your whispers sound and feel of thunder up against a loving ear

Wander said...

Please tell me more about this loving ear...

Ben Ditty said...

Sometimes I feel that way, muted and under the surface.

Other Mary said...

That last line is chilling! We really different directions. I did that Magpie too, again, different: http://writinginthebachs.blogspot.com/2012/01/siren-song.html