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Thursday, July 12, 2012

The other side of the coin

After speaking with the sorely used (or so he thought) farmer I thought I would talk to the other side of the is what she had to say....

Lecherous Grin

This is it
Never again
There he stands
Across the field
With his bottle
And that lecherous
Grin, again

He thinks
To have me tonight
He thinks he sets me
Alight inside, no fright
The light inside has
Never will he

Night approaches 
He and I for the last
Time this spin
Of the wheel of will
He or I win this last time
This bottle of gin
In my hand tilts the scales
My dear
I think with that
Last drink you’ll be
Done in, lecherous grin
Slackened, one swing
Eye blackened
          Bank account
Purse and jewelry
    Farm hand
Luke and I gone
That serves you right
You abusive drunk!
For trying to lay
Your repulsive self
Into me
Never again, that was it
The end!

Chris McQueeney    7/11/12    9:53  P.M.  


Brian Miller said...

ha fun way to tell the story man...he has to take better care of mama...especially with all those farm hands around...smiles...

She Writes Here Now said...

Ahhhh, there is always the other side of the story, isn't there :)?

Anonymous said...

Smart mama to take the tractor and the truck! Even farm hands hafta make a livin'... :)

Really well done, Chris. Layers of nuance frosted with crisp rhythm and meter...

kj said...

holy moley chris, i kind of read this aloud and i hardly took a breath. honestly i think this is super good writing. you someone catch the rhythm and it's kind of breathless and you have this play on words and this repetition.

for some reason this line gets me:

He thinks he sets me
Alight inside

the word Alight: is it even a word? if it is or isn't, it's a great word.

nice nice

Nadja Notariani said...

Hmmm. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,' comes to mind in this verse. Ha!

And the association she connects between his behavior and it's negative impact on his use of her body - it's spot on. Very insightful.

Other Mary said...

Wow - that's a smart and strong voice your character has. I like it!

Secret Agent Woman said...

I first went back and read the farmer's poem, then this one. I think she may have a point.

Anonymous said...

what a perfect rebuttal!

not only are your words visually impressive, i like the way they move in written form. nice. very.

Strummed Words said...

Well, I say, he may have had it coming. But that was tough revenge!

Wander said...

Yeah kj it is a word...and a bit of a play on words at the same time...thank you:-)

Wander said...

Thakhs nadja:-)

Wander said...