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Thursday, May 22, 2014

Thursday thought

Blank slate

Trying to find
The Cre a tiv ity
Find it"s place
Where it lives in me
Blank slate
Empty state
Toss me In a pond
Watch the ripples
Find me
In their wake

Chris McQueeney    11:47 A.M.    5/22/14

I am nervous...Tuesday I may get the chance to see my children...I have to say the hardest thing I have ever had to do was to not go see them on my own...It's taken every ounce of my soul. Today I had someone important in the process say that he would stand in support of my getting to be in their lives. I am grateful and I almost started crying. I have to say the only thing at times that kept me on this planet was those two children. For the last nine months I have labored to repair my life to the point where they would get the person they need, their father. They have had to suffer the fallout from the destruction of my life. I understand some of what they have gone through because I experienced something similar at my daughter's age...There are differences, but in essence for long stretches of time I and my sister would not get to see our father and it fucked me up...missing him and not being able to be around him left huge gaps in my life that I swore my children would never have to suffer. But, life has a way, brutally at times, of letting you know that control is not in your hands. So, for the next few days I will sit on pins and needles awaiting the outcome of Tuesday's hearing...I am also embarking on a schedule of more writing so as to improve the condition of my writing. Wish me luck and please hold Chase and Karley in your prayers......................

1 comment:

Brian Miller said...

nice...i hope it goes well and you get to see them...and that it goes well...and so true about control as well....smiles...something i have had to learn again and again...