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Monday, May 19, 2014

Club Soda

Bacon alone does not a feast make

    As i climbed my way out of the pit the thought that these were not just random events happening, as if a grand design was unfolding wrought by a undoing seemed assured.Or so some would feel...not I though. This is like the relish on a hot dog...necessary for survival.
Not often do I get surprised like I did this morning.
    You may recall the fun I had with the sprites...that was a month ago. Just this morning As I read the paper artical about the rash of unexplained assaults in the Portland area, Oregon for the curious, someone rang the buzzer. what awaited me in the hallway was an empty two liter of club soda, Canada dry. now this wasn't just a random ding-dong-dash and even though I was living in a hovel of an apartment it wasn't just litter either; empty bottles meant cash, not much but still cash. But the tell tale sign that this wasn't just some kid playing a joke was the fact that the opening of the bottle was severely distended as if something had forced its way out of the small opening.
    No doubt about it, none at all. This particular bottle had held club wielding imps, and probably had been in the possession of one of the unexplained assault victims not so long ago. my only question was how it had made its way to my door. Clearly someone wanted to get my attention...or so I thought an hour later as I awoke half sprawled in the doorway to my apartment with a huge lump on my head and my face pressed against the hallway wall opposite my door.
    My next thought was I was going to have fun kicking the crap out of some imps for the nasty taste the grimy wall had left in my mouth. This one was calling for more than a Rasher of Bacon, I would also need to get some cheddar pringles and strawberry milk to celebrate the victory I was sure to have; everyone knows that bacon alone does not a feast make..........

Chris McQueeney    11:24 A.M.  5/19/14

This is the second installment in the Pop Wars Saga started by Ben Ditty with Sprite...followed by Rasher of Bacon


Ben Ditty said...

Just posted the next installment! :-)

Brian Miller said...

ha. i am getting these in reverse, just jumped over from ben's...i was all ready to argue as well..because bacon is amazing...unless it tries to kill you...or mug you...or send unicorns after you....those horns hurt...and imps...oh my...smiles.

Wine and Words said...

Cheddar pringles and strawberry milk??? I think I'm going to barf!!! :)

kj said...

Very clever even though it's a wild ride of a read !

Ah bacon. It's hard not to love. But the more I learn about animal welfare, the less I can deminish the life of a pig