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Sunday, October 26, 2014

Why try to fix something broken with something broken

Ever Wanting

I’m too hard
On myself
Ever wanting there
To be perfection
But I’m broken
How could my twisted fingers produce
Anything near perfection
How could my shattered ears
Hear the love that is there
On display for all to see
Don’t let me go on about sight
For every word there is fight
Does that fit there or here
A lot of times we get to the fuckit mode
Fuck it it fits, let’s go with it
Am I too hard on myself
It’s easy enough to find out
Balls in your court
Your play you tell me the
mistakes of the day

Chris McQueeney    10/26/14

Why try to fix something broken with something that was broken in the first place,,,A lot of people don't understand the concept that a broken mind is broken for whatever the reason . it takes hard work on the one with the breakage to mend the broken pieces back together into some semblances of normalcy. and it takes a lot of understanding from everyone allowed. I go to family functions because I love them, but it is hard, What conversations do I have with them...why the sorry for missing the last family function I was having thoughts of harming myself or others and thought it would be more productive to be locked into a psychiatric unit for nine days...What did you all talk about, we talked about what the voices in the head were screaming, oh yeh are there any more fruit cups cause those fruit cups were good. People usually look away in disbelief discomfort or fear, and it feels punishing all over again. Mental illness isn't like a broken arm where you have a cast that people can sign and a six weeks back to a healthy arm...Mental recovery may take years. there may be backslides (not all breaks are as clear cut as others) and there may be miraculous turns for the better followed by just as devastating downsides.  I would ask as one that suffers from a brain injury be your self, treat me like a human and ask me questions and truly listen. I know that is a lot to ask for but what choice do I have...questions like How are you doing might or might not be the way to go, What can I do may be closer to the mark.

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